


Aim and Ignite

by headinthetardis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, College, Fluff, Future Fic, Hinata's POV, M/M, POV First Person, will include more detailed tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-02-27 22:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2708513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headinthetardis/pseuds/headinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys' high school days are over, and they're now in Tokyo, in separate universities. Some things are the same - volleyball is still super important, and they're still good friends, but things have changed as well. Hinata now has priorities other than  volleyball, and things with Kageyama might not be exactly what they were before.<br/>This is the story of how two former teammates become a lot more than that, while having to go through some confusing, and very trying times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to raisintheta for all her help. I absolutely would not have been able to do this without her, she literally thought up at least half of the story. I wanted to add her as co-author but she wouldn't let me.  
> Go check her out on tumblr, she's an amazing artist!

Economics is hard. And it isn’t particularly interesting. It’s just numbers, and graphs, and theories from men who died half a century ago that have few advantages and dozens of limitations. Unfortunately though, it being boring and difficult didn’t change the fact that it was one of my main subjects and I needed to score well in it.

Good grades, at the moment, seemed like a distant dream as I stared at the textbook in front of me, not registering a single one of the tiny gray words printed on its dull pages. The atmosphere itself was drowsy. The class was stuffy and the dreariness of the subject seemed to have sucked all the air out of the room. I yawned, trying to rub the sleep out of my drooping eyes. College had started just a few weeks ago, but it had been quite a busy first 3 weeks, and by now, I was pretty tired.

Moving into Tokyo, getting all my things in order, running around the campus trying to find my classes, getting assignments right in the second week –I had had a lot of stuff to do. Plus there was volleyball. Volleyball practice was obviously the best part of my day, but it was exhausting.

College was really hectic and tiring in general, but today I was really _really_ tired .It was Friday, and I could feel all the past week’s exhaustions in my bones, making them heavy. All the grueling volleyball practices, the late night study sessions, and the hours and hours of boring classes that I’d had to sit through made themselves felt now, at the end of the week. Thankfully, the weekend was here, and I didn’t have much to do. I could catch up on my sleep, and maybe even go down to Shibuya and see Kageyama. We both had been so busy with trying to adjust to college, and Tokyo, and well, _everything_ , that we hadn’t met up in a while.  
But before I could do any of that, I had to get through this class, which, given the way I felt right now, seemed like a really hard thing to do. I felt so tired, and wanted nothing more than to just lower my head on the desk and go to sleep. I couldn’t do that though, so I rubbed my face and straightened up, trying to stay awake. Everybody else in the class was so focused, listening carefully to what the professor had to say, and then there was me, barely managing to not doze off. The student seated next to me, my room mate Nakashima, was concentrating intently as well, not affected at all by my constant fidgeting.

As expected of Nakashima- he wasn’t distracted easily. He was pretty focused on his studies. It’s not that he was the type who spent every waking moment with his nose buried in his textbook, he could be fun when he wanted to! But he did study quite a bit and knew exactly where his priorities lay. We got along fairly well, though I think he did find me annoying sometimes.  
All in all, making friends here had been easy. One of the main reasons for that was being a part of the volleyball team. Joining the team had meant I had 12 friends right from the beginning. My teammates were all amicable guys, both the newcomers and the seniors. The seniors, Yamada senpai, Sakamoto senpai, Oshima senpai and Kimura senpai were warm and welcoming, which was a relief for the first years, who had been a bit nervous.

Several of them already knew me. Karasuno had become kinda famous now, and I like to think that I played a little part in that. It definitely seemed that way to my team mates, who knew me as the “really fast karasuno spiker who did that weird quick strike”. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me feel really happy.  
 I had recognized some of them too. Kimura senpai had been a part of Hinodai senior high school, who we’d met in the semifinals at the Interhigh last year, and Kawakami had been the libero at Nishimachi high when they’d gone up to the finals.

Thinking about the team reminded me of the extra hour of volleyball practice we’d have today – Morita san was unhappy with our serve and had ordered us to spend an extra hour practicing only serves. Most people had groaned at the announcement, but I had grinned happily. An extra hour of volleyball! That was always a delight, no matter how tired I was. I think being on the courts actually made me less tired – It made me feel energetic and all pumped up. Even after all these years of playing the game, I wasn’t sick of it. It made me feel alive.

My happy daydreams of volleyball were suddenly interrupted by the sound of books slamming shut and doors creaking open. The class had ended. I quickly gathered my things and rushed out of the room, running straight to my dorm to change, and then dashing out to go to the court. It was finally time to play volleyball.

* * *

 

“Good work everyone!” said Yamada senpai, the captain, as the team wrapped up for the day and everyone shuffled out of the court.  
“Hey, why don’t you guys all come to my place? We can order pizza and play the new Call Of Duty ” suggested Hayashi. He was a second year history student who came from a wealthy family. He had his own flat a short distance from the university campus, and it was always stocked with the latest video games and movies.

“Sorry guys,” I said “I can’t make it”

“Oh come on Hinata,” said Kawakami “You hardly ever come to hang out with us outside practice”  
“I know, I know” I replied apologetically “I just don’t get a lot of time, man. I’ll see you guys at practice tomorrow!” I waved goodbye and started walking towards the residential building.  
I trudged along the corridor, staring at the floor. If Kageyama were here, he’d tell me to stop looking like some sad little loser – but I couldn’t help it, okay? I wanted to play video games and eat pizza too. I hated missing out on things – it really annoyed me! I did want to go along, but I honestly didn’t have the time. All I’d done this afternoon in economics was daydream, which meant that now I was even more behind on a subject that was already difficult for me.  I needed to stay in and study today. I could understand my teammates’ disappointment though, this wasn’t the first time I was blowing them off. But I didn’t have any other choice. I’d chosen to do both volleyball and study business, and so I’d have to make some sacrifices if I wanted to do well.

Well, I mean, technically, I hadn’t really chosen this, my parents had. They’d originally wanted me to start working after high school, but that’s not what I’d wanted at all. I just wanted to keep playing volleyball, and I’d told them that. But “volleyball won’t guarantee a stable career” or whatever. They never really forced me to do anything, but it was pretty clear what they wanted me to do. When I refused, they didn’t yell at me or fight, but they kept talking about it, trying to get me to agree. I didn’t listen though, and my resolve only became stronger when I received offers from scouts. In the end, we managed to negotiate a deal. I could continue to play volleyball, if I agreed to study business along with it. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but it was better than the alternative.

Not that I resented my parents or anything! They just wanted me to have a good future, and they thought a nice job in this field would ensure that. Their behavior was understandable...parents worrying about their kids was normal.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a message from Kageyama telling me how much one of his teammates reminded him of Nishinoya. I chuckled. It was good to know that there were more people in the world like Noya san – he was really cool. It was good for Kageyama too. Having a familiar face (well,kind of )  in this new college crowd must be reassuring.

I stopped outside room number 10 and pulled out my keys, opening the door as quietly as I could. Nakashima sometimes went to bed early, and I had learnt the hard way that it was never a good idea to disturb him while he slept. Sure enough, he was curled up on his bed, sleeping soundly.

My phone buzzed once more. It was Kageyama again, telling me a joke Noya-double-san had made. It sounded exactly like something Nishinoya would say, though it had been a while since I’d heard one of the real Noya’s jokes. The real Nishinoya was at college in Yokohama, studying film production. We still kept in touch, of course, but text messages weren’t the same as talking and laughing together during practice. Sadly, that’s what my friendship with most of the Karasuno boys had been reduced to. Tanaka was working in Miyagi, Asahi was studying psychology to become a counsellor, Enoshita was also studying business, Tsukishima was at college in Kyoto studying economics, and Yamaguchi was in the same university studying computers. With all of us in different places doing different things, it was hard to keep in touch.

Sawamura senpai and Sugawara senpai, who were studying sports medicine and education respectively, were the ones with whom I had the most contact (besides Kageyama, of course). The pair took turns calling every few days and, as I later found out, they were maintaining such close contact with everyone, not just me. I thought it was really sweet that they were still concerned about everyone, even though we weren’t together anymore. It was like having another mum and dad.

They were a reassuring reminder that some things would always remain the same, which helped me deal with all the other changes taking place. A new city, new subjects to study, a new place to live, new people to live with, new people to play volleyball with – so much was new. In some small ways, so was I. Never before had I given up spending time with my friends so that I could have more time to study. Never before had I missed a group of people as much as I missed my Karasuno teammates. Never before had I worked really hard for something other than volleyball.  
Things really had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that :)  
> I'll be updating weekly!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope a week isn't too long to wait!

I like Sundays. Sundays are nice and lazy and free and I can do whatever I want. Honestly, any day that I didn’t have to spend cooped up in a classroom or bent over a textbook was a _good_ day. Usually, I spent my Sundays catching up on sleep (by staying in bed till noon), passing time in front of my computer and maybe playing some volleyball.    
This Sunday was different though. This Sunday, I was going down to Shibuya to meet Kageyama. We’d both been really busy the past few weeks and hadn’t had the time to meet up, so now that we finally had a bit of free time, we’d decided to do just that.

Neither of us really knew Tokyo, so we’d agreed to just hang around his college. That morning, I took a bus to Shibuya and went to K-university. Kageyama didn’t exactly live inside the university campus, he lived in a flat a short distance from the college, with his roommate Takeru. The two of them seemed to be living comfortably, which surprised me because I didn’t think anyone was capable of living peacefully with that idiot king Kageyama. He was so annoying everyone was bound to get sick of him. I got smacked in the head for pointing that out to Kageyama.  
Anyways, Takeru was a nice guy. He was friendly, easy going and pretty laid back. He was nice to be with.

Kageyama and I spent the day no different from how we’d spent time back in Miyagi – eating junk food and playing video games. Kageyama might be a genius setter, but man was he bad at Halo! He sucked so bad, I kicked his butt almost every time – he won, like, _once_ , and that was only because I’d gotten distracted by pizza. In the evening, Kageyama took me around his college, showing me the main parts of the university. His college is so cool! It’s really big and it’s got all these awesome sports facilities like a giant Olympic-sized swimming pool, a football ground, a baseball pitch, and 3 really amazing volley ball courts.

The courts were unlocked and empty, which meant that Kageyama and I had the chance to do what we’d been waiting to do – play volleyball together. It started out as ‘just a couple of rounds for fun’, but soon turned into an intense session that lasted hours. It was so much fun though! Playing with my new college team was fun, of course, but playing with an old teammate was a totally different experience. We just worked so well together, we knew each other’s moves perfectly, and every shot was just…bwaaah!

Plus there was the added bonus of watching Kageyama accidentally hit himself with the ball after a bit too powerful serve at the wall had rebounded with more force than he’d expected, and smacked him straight in the face. It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen.   
However, my happiness soon faded away once I realized what time it was. It was 10 pm. We’d been playing volleyball for 4 hours straight. The last bus to Katsushika had left half an hour ago. There wouldn’t be any more till tomorrow morning. I was kind of stuck.

Kageyama asked me to stay over at his place. I didn’t need him or anything, but I knew what a sad, lonely kid he is, so, being the kind friend that I am, I agreed.

“I’m hungry.” I said, as we walked up the stairs to the flat.   
“Me too” replied Kageyama “ We still have some pizza left over - we can eat that, Plus I think there’s some ice cream in the fridge.”   
“Woohoo ice cream!” I said, pumping my fist through the air, while Kageyama rolled his eyes.

We reached his flat and went inside. Takeru was sitting on the couch, reading. He greeted us cheerfully when we entered, and was completely unfazed by news of me staying the night. He just smiled brightly and said that it was nice I was spending the night at Kageyama’s flat.

“Is he always that happy?” I asked Kageyama, once Takeru had gone to his room.   
“Not exactly” replied Kageyama, pulling out the boxes of pizza and inspecting their contents.  
“I mean, he is a pretty happy guy in general, but he seems exceptionally cheerful about you being here.”   
“Did you tell him a lot about me or something?”   
“No, nothing like that” said Kageyama, staring straight down at the pizza on his plate.   
“Hmm” I shrugged. Maybe he just liked meeting new people.

Kageyama and I settled into the couch, wolfing down the pizza. I suddenly realized that I should probably tell Nakashima that I wouldn’t be returning to the dorm tonight. Not that he’d worry, but still. I put my hand inside my pocket to pull out my phone and text him, but all I found was a used bus ticket and some coins. I spotted my phone next to Kageyama, on top of the armrest. I lunged across and grabbed my phone, putting my hand on his thigh to push myself forward, then straightened up again.  
“What the hell are you doing?!” demanded Kageyama, his face tinged red for some reason.   
“I was just getting my phone.” I said, unclear of why he was getting so worked up.   
“Jeez” said Kageyama, turning away from me “Next time, just ask!”   
“Yeah okay whatever” I said, typing into my phone.

After we’d finished the pizza, we brought out the ice cream – it was chocolate and hazelnut and my absolute favourite. We didn’t even bother with bowls or anything, directly sticking our spoons into the tub and shoveling large quantities of the delicious creamy goodness into our mouths. I was holding the box, so I was sitting straight, my feet on the ground (instead of resting on the armrest like they were before), with Kageyama next to me. With both of us trying to establish dominance over the ice cream tub, we ended up sitting pretty close to each other. His knee touched mine, our arms bumped, and my head was practically leaning against his shoulder.   
Suddenly, Kageyama said “goddammit Hinata”, and hit me hard in the head.  
“What the hell?!What was that for?!” I yelled  
“For constantly shaking your leg! Stop moving! Good god you’re like a 10 year old on a sugar high!”

“Well I am eating sugar! We both are! This is chocolate ice cream!” I retorted, waving my spoon about and accidentally splattering his shirt with flecks of ice cream   
“Are you also a 10 year old moron?!” he said, annoyed, as he wiped the ice cream off his shirt  
“Shut up you’re the moron!”

We glared at each other, till neither of us could resist the ice cream tub between us any longer, and we started stuffing our faces with it again.

 “Sorry” I mumbled, scraping the hazelnut bits on the side of the tub with my spoon “I didn’t even realize I’d been shaking it.”

Kageyama grunted, and turned back to the television. There was a Bruce Lee movie on TV, and Kageyama seemed to be enjoying it. He loved those martial arts movies, with the really cool stunts and mind blowing fight sequences. He stared intently at the TV screen, his eyes wide, as Bruce Lee sparred with 5 bad guys at once, and he laughed when the rest of the gang ran away screaming, too afraid to fight the martial arts master.

“What?” asked Kageyama, looking at me, one eyebrow raised.

I blinked rapidly, tearing my gaze away from his face.   
Apparently, I stared at people without realizing it too.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Oh umm you’ve just got a bit of ice cream right there” I said, pointing at the tiny bit of chocolate on his lower lip.  
“ Oh.” He wiped it away “Gone?” he asked  
“Yup.”   
He nodded, and turned his attention to his phone.

I turned mine back to the TV, getting into the movie as well.

Unfortunately, I never found out the ending, because I fell asleep midway.

I woke up the next morning, resting sideways against the couch, my legs stretched out in front of me, and Kageyama’s legs on top of them. I gently pulled them out from underneath him (lucky for me, he was a deep sleeper) and sat up straight, running my hands through my hair as I sleepily addressed my surroundings. The TV was still on, now showing some children’s movie. The ice cream tub lay fallen on the floor, our spoons still on the couch. It was empty though, I vaguely remembered licking it clean last night.

Kageyama was still asleep, resting in the same position he had been sitting in last night – leaning sideways on the armrest, his legs folded up on the couch. He was scrunched up, which looked like a funny (not to mention, awkward) position for a guy that tall. I then realized that he was wearing only his t shirt and track pants – the fool had taken off his jacket while eating and was now feeling cold. I got up and stretched, cricking my neck and massaging my shoulder. Spending the night on a couch wasn’t exactly comfortable. I walked to his room, taking his blanket off his bed and taking it back to the couch. The blanket, bundled up in my arms, seemed thick and warm, and smelled nice. That was weird-Kageyama was gross. We’d walked home together after practice countless times. He didn’t smell nice at all. I sniffed the blanket, maybe I was mistaken.  
I wasn’t. It smelled warm, and comfortable and interesting…a tiny bit like cinnamon.

I placed the blanket over Kageyama, pulling it up to his shoulders. I picked up my phone, which had been wedged between the sofa cushions, and stopped mid-yawn to smack my forehead. It was 7:15, and I was going to miss my bus _again._

I quickly gathered my things and rushed out of the flat, hoping I hadn’t forgotten anything. I ran to the bus stop, barely reaching in time, as the bus arrived mere seconds after I had.   
In the bus, I sat next to the window, letting the cool morning air run over my face and wake me up properly. It really was cold that morning, and I soon had to shut the window, the cold wind that rushed in being too much for my thin jacket to handle. At least I’d worn a jacket, unlike that idiot Kageyama. He was such a child, needing someone else to go cover him up with a blanket.   
That blanket…it had seemed so…comfortable. Like something that would engulf you in warmth, and would feel snug, smelling soft and sweet. Next time I went to Kageyama’s house, I would definitely get a hold of that blanket.

I spent the rest of the bus journey staring outside the window, wondering why everything suddenly smelled like cinnamon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you guys are liking this fic- criticisms are always welcome!Also, hit me up with suggestions for university/college names if you have any. You can talk to me on tumblr at headinthetardis.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are short so waiting for a week may seem like a lot, but bear with me okay?

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I blinked a few times, trying to open my eyes enough to get a look at the name on the screen.

**Mom**

“Hinata! Good morning! Were you sleeping?” she said cheerfully.

“Yes..but it’s all right, I needed to be waking up now anyway”

“Good, good. How have you been? We hadn’t spoken for a few weeks, so I thought I’d call you. How is college?”

“College is good..sorry I haven’t called lately, I’ve been kind of busy.” I replied, still lying lazily in bed.

“Ahh lots of studying to do?” she asked

“Yeah” I said, adding “ plus there’s volleyball.”

“Hmmm.” was all she said, but I could literally hear her curling her lip.

“Volleyball’s important too, mom.” I reminded her gently

“Yes, yes, I’m not saying it’s not!But please don’t let it affect your studies, Hinata.” She said, her voice more pleading than stern.

I sighed. It might have been easier if she were forceful.

“Yes mom, don’t worry.” I said “ Okay I have to go now. My class starts in half an hour, and I want to have some breakfast before that.”

“Oh! You’d better hurry up then!”

“Yeah. I’ll call later today. Bye bye!”

I put down the phone and got out of bed, stretching my arms and cricking my neck. I yawned, heading towards the bathroom at the end of the hall so I could wash up quickly before going to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was noisy as always, packed with students drowsily sipping their morning coffees. I spotted my friends sitting in a table near the window, and joined them, after grabbing a juice box and sandwich from the breakfast counter. I sat next to Nakashima, greeting everyone on the table. It was my usual group of non-volleyball friends- Nakashima, Mayumi, Takashita, Kobayashi and Masako. They were all nice people, fun to hang out with. We were talking of this and that, laughing and chatting like we did everyday. Mayumi was discussing her upcoming birthday plans with Masako and Takashita, while Nakashima and Kobayashi were in splits, talking about the latest episode of some comedy show that they both watched.  
I looked into my phone, reading the message Kageyama had sent me last night – I’d fallen asleep mid conversation.  
It read -

 **Kageyama** : Stop insulting me Hinata. If anyone’s useless, it’s you

Followed by –

 **Kageyama** : Did you actually fall asleep??My god you really are useless.

I grinned, typing in a reply.

 **Hinata** : Plz, kageyama.Im anything but useless.I do v imp things all day.

His reply came barely a minute later.

 **Kageyama** : Oh really? What are you doing now then?

 **Hinata** : Eating breakfast with my frnds.Breakfast is good for ur health, and spending time with friends is essential. U wudn’t understand, u don’t hv any frnds.

 **Kageyama** : I have plenty of friends! You’ve met them, dumbass. I haven’t met yours though…I haven’t even see your college. What’re they like?

 **Hinata** : They’re rly cool. We hv a lot of fun 2gether. U know Nakashima. Then there’s Mayumi, Takashita, Kobayashi and Masako.

 **Kageyama** : Mayumi and Masako..they’re girls?

 **Hinata** : Duh. U jealous Kageyama? ;) ;) ;)

 **Kageyama** : Why on earth would I be jealous??Stop blabbering.

 **Hinata** : Bcoz I’m frnds with 2 pretty girls. It’s ok Kags, I’ll introduce u. They’re out of ur league though. They’re too cute & smart for u.

 **Kageyama** : Shut up Hinata! I have 0 interest in them.

 **Hinata** : liar.

 **Kageyama** : Am not! I could care less about them. I can’t handle your nonsense any more, I have to go to practice. Ttyl.

 **Hinata** : I can smell your jealousy xD  
ttyl

* * *

 

“Okay listen up everyone! We have a practice match coming up with Aoyama Gakuin University. It’s going to take place on Friday, so I’m afraid you’ll be missing a day of classes. You’ll be excused of course, since it’s for a match. Is everyone okay with that?” said Yamada senpai.

Everyone responded positively – their classes weren’t all that difficult, and the practice match would be exciting – but I responded with an “Oh damn.”

“What is it, Hinata?” asked Oshima senpai  
“I have a test on international business studies on Friday..”

“What time is the test?”

“It’s in the morning – 7 am.”

“Well then it’s fine! We’ll be leaving at around 8:30! You’ll be done with your test by then, won’t you?”

“Oh! Yeah! That’s great then” I said, smiling brightly

He smiled back and clapped me on the back, telling me not to worry about things.

I laughed, but on the inside, I was worried. I wouldn’t miss the test, but how would I study for it? An approaching practice match meant extra hours of practice and less hours of studying.  
I shook my head, brushing aside the thoughts of business studies and tests and replacing them with thoughts of the match, of using the new tricks I’d learnt, of playing with new people, of winning. Aoyama Gakuin was strong, but looking at the way we’d been playing lately, we definitely had a good chance of beating them.  
For now, I just wanted to play volleyball and be excited with my friends about the match. I could figure everything else out later.

* * *

 

It was later. And I hadn’t figured anything out.

International business studies turned out to be more complicated than I’d originally imagined. It wasn’t something I could just glance over last minute, I would need a while to study it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a while. I had other subjects as well, not to mention all the extra volleyball practice (which was the main problem actually).

My phone buzzed next to me.

 **Kageyama** : A practice match? Cool! They’re a good team!

 **Hinata** : Yeah.

What if I left practice early one day? Yamada senpai would be hard to convince, but I could probably manage it…..no. No! What was I thinking?? I wouldn’t be able to convince _myself_   to cut down on volleyball, let alone Yamada senpai.

I had another text.

 **Kageyama** : ‘Yeah.’ ?? I thought you’d be more excited. Aren’t you pumped up or whatever?

 **Hinata** : Yeah I am

What if I skipped the test? I mean, people did that all the time right? It was just one test…

_Don’t let it affect your studies, Hinata._

 

I couldn’t. I took a deep breath, and pulled my textbook towards me, chewing the end of my pencil as I began reading.

My phone lit up.

 **Kageyama** : You don’t sound like it..

 **Hinata** : Yeah well whatever , I am. I have to study. Ttyl.

* * *

 

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing for the second day in a row. ‘Sugawara senpai’ the name on the screen read.  
It also read ‘7:30 am’. I started, almost jumping out of bed, when I remembered that I wouldn’t have any morning classes today.  
I settled back into the bed, snuggling up inside the warm covers, and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Good morning Hinata! Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, kind of, but it’s all right. What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, just calling to see how things are going.”

“Yeah, but you called last time. Isn’t it Daichi-san’s turn now?”

I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Yes, according to our pattern, it should be. But I was worried about you.”

“Worried? Why?”

“Well, when I was talking to Kageyama yesterday, he told me that you seemed a little…ahh…upset. He was worried that it was because of something he did. Is something wrong, Hinata?”

I groaned, cursing myself. Now that I thought about it, my texts last night hadn’t exactly been nice. But I was just stressing out about the test and the match and stuff…it had nothing to do with that idiot!

“No, Sugawara senpai. I was just a bit worried out about this test I have coming up. No need to worry!”

“Are you sure? You know you can always tell me about anything, right?” he said kindly  

“Yes yes, I know. But honestly. I’m fine.”

“Okay, if you say so. But please, Hinata, don’t strain yourself. Don’t stay up late studying, it’ll do you more harm than good!”

“Yes, senpai.”

“And I hope you’re not overtraining! Work hard, but don’t tire yourself out. Remember to stretch before and after practice. Oh and make sure you’re eating properly! Junk food is tasty but it gives you no strength. I need you to take care of yourself, Hinata.”

“Yes, senpai, I will.”

“Good.”

After reminding me a million times to call him whenever I had a problem, and telling me one last time to care of myself, Sugawara senpai ended the call.

I immediately texted Kageyama.

 **Hinata** : Kageyama wth!Why did u go tell suga senpai I was upset??

 **Kageyama** : Because you were!

 **Hinata** : No I wasn’t!There’s nothing wrong srsly!There was no need for u to do that

 **Kageyama** : It seemed like you were. And well..I didn’t know what to say so I told suga senpai! Stop complaining moron, I’m sure he was very nice to you. Shut up and study or whatever

 **Hinata** : Yeah, he was..he’s too nice.  
Nope no studying now, I’m going to sleep. Suga senpai told me that I shud get at least 7/8 hrs of sleep.

 **Kageyama** : You should…I think this is the first time this week you’re actually gonna get more than 3 hours of sleep.

 **Hinata** : Aww u keep count Kageyama? ;)

 **Kageyama** : No I just have to listen to you whining about how sleepy you are all the time! Just go to sleep already.

 **Hinata** : yeah yeah  
gn  
and..thnx.

 **Kageyama** : Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby Hinata.  
> On a side note, these two are idiots


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kageyma meet some old friends..

Volleyball volleyball volleyball volleyball volleyball volleyball

That is literally all that was going on in my head while I was trying to write the test.

I had, in the end, managed to study, but I didn’t feel all that prepared. That, coupled with the upcoming match taking up all of my limited attention span, meant that this test wasn’t going very well for me.

I tried to focus, but all I could think about was the match. It was only a practice match, yes, but still, it was another chance to be on the court- another chance to win. This match was also only the second time I would be playing with my Q university teammates. Things still felt new.

Thankfully, the test wasn’t that difficult at all, so I would do okay even if I was distracted the entire time.  
Speaking of time- I was running out of it. It was already 7:30, and I’d promised Oshima senpai I’d be done with the test by 7:45, and in my uniform with the team by 8.  
I started writing faster, and managed to write the last 15 minutes with total concentration. I shot out of the class, practically throwing my finished paper at the professor’s face, and rushed through the corridor to my room.

I met my team near the buses, almost crashing into a few of its players as I came sprinting through the parking lot.

“Slow down Hinata!” scolded Morita-san “We don’t want anyone getting injured before we’ve even had the chance to play!”

“Right! Sorry coach!” I replied

Morita-san then took a head count and then led into the bus.

 

The ride to Aoyama  university wasn’t long, we reached in around twenty minutes. We headed straight to their volleyball court, which was a lot like ours. It was big and wooden and shiny, and it smelled like sweat and rubber and deodorant. It smelled awesome.

The Aoyama team wasn’t here yet, but their coach was, and he said that they’d be on the court in another ten minutes. We started warming up, stretching and practicing spikes. Kageyama came while we were doing a round of serves. We always went to each other’s matches, and then stayed over at either my dorm or Kageyama’s flat right after. Staying over was a good idea- It was a good way to take your mind off things if you lost, and an awesome way to celebrate of you won. I was looking forward to tonight.

The other team finally arrived, 15 minutes late, their captain bowing apologies at Morita san and Yamada senpai. The players were like we’d imagined- tall (not Shiratorizawa tall, but tall), strong and pretty sturdy looking dudes. I didn’t recognize any of them, so I guessed that none of them were from really famous high schools. Then I noticed a tall, messy-haired player talking to the captain. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t see his face properly from the angle I was standing in. He turned around to talk to a teammate, and I gasped.

“Kuroo senpai!” I said loudly, almost shouting.

He looked around to see who had called him, and noticed me standing on the other side of the net, waving at him and probably grinning like maniac.

A wide grin appeared on his face, as he walked towards me, raising one hand up in response.

“Hinata!” he said “What a coincidence!”

“Yeah! I didn’t know you were playing for Aoyama!”

“I’ve been here for more than two years now. It’s my last year here actually.”

“Ohhh. That’s sad.”

“Yeah, but well, what can you do, eh?” he said, shrugging. He suddenly noticed Kageyama sitting in the stands.

“Holy shit is that Kageyama? Did you two end up in the same college?” He waved at Kageyama, smiling. Kageyama’s eyes widened in surprise and he waved back hesitantly.

“Oh…no, he’s in K college. He’s just here to watch the match.” I said

“He got into K? Woah. I’m impressed.” He replied, eyebrows raised. The coach’s whistle blew, cutting our conversation short.

“Well, this’ll be an interesting match.” He smirked “One crow versus one cat – it’ll be like a tiny battle of the garbage dump.”

I laughed, his words filling me up with nostalgia. It had been a while since I’d been called a crow.

I jogged back to my teammates, who were getting ready for the game with the usual pre-match huddle.

“Okay, team” said Yamada senpai “This is a practice match, but we still need to give it our all. They’re strong, but we’ve been training – I think we can beat them if we try hard enough! Let’s do this!”

We yelled in agreement, thumping each other on the back and getting onto the court. I could feel the excitement building up. I glanced at all my teammates as I got into position, receiving ‘thumbs up’s and encouraging smiles. I missed being a crow more than anything, but I loved being a part of Q. I loved my new team, and we played some spectacular volleyball together.

The other team was starting, Kuroo had the first serve. He looked at me, smiling slyly from across the court. I smiled back.  
This was going to be _fun._

* * *

 

“Congratulations Hinata! You played pretty well.” Said Kuroo, shaking my hand, still smirking, even though they’d just lost 2-1. I wondered if he ever stopped smirking

“Thanks! You played really well too, Kuroo-senpai!” Your team is very cool!” I replied, and I meant it. We might have won, but it had been a close match. Their team worked really well together, and Kuroo had analysed our game very efficiently.

I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the court, where Kageyama was waiting for me.

“Kageyama!!We won!!” I said gleefully.

“Yes, I know, dumbass, I saw the whole thing. I was sitting right there, remember?”

Ugh. Kageyama couldn’t act happy about anything. He had enjoyed the game though. I’d seen him during the match- all shining eyes and fist pumps and intense analyses of techniques.

He told me to wipe that stupid grin of my face, but I didn’t care. We’d just won! I couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of us were staring to walk back to the bus, when I felt someone tap me gently on the shoulder. I turned around, and, standing there, holding a video game and smiling softly, was Kozume Kenma.

“Kenma?!”

“Hey Hinata. Hey, Kageyama.”

“Oh my god! Hi!!” First Kuroo, now him-this day was just full of cool surprises.

“Hey..” said Kageyama. Why wasn’t he more excited?

“What’re you doing here? Wait – are you and Kuroo senpai in the same college?” I asked

“No, no. I’m in Tamagawa. I just came here because of the match. Kuroo and I always meet up after matches.”

“Oh cool! Kageyama and I do that too!” I said, nudging my sullen friend with my elbow.

“Yeah,” said Kenma “Today’s plan’s been cancelled though. Kurroo said he needs to finish some assignment, or he won’t be allowed to play the next match. He left it to the last minute, as always.”

“Awww that’s too bad…Hey!” I said, suddenly having a stroke of genius “Why don’t you come with me and Kageyama?”

“Oh.Umm...well,” he said, shuffling uncomfortably from one foot to the other

“Come on! The 3 of us playing games and chilling out in my dorm – it’ll be fun!”

“Ahh well…okay. I don’t have anything planned out anyways. But are you sure you’re okay with it? I mean, I don’t wanna intrude or anything. Is it okay with you Kageyama?” said Kenma, glancing at Kageyama

“Yeah!” I was really excited about it, and I didn’t see any reason why Kageyama would have a problem with it.

“We’re both fine with it! Right, Kageyama?” I looked up at him, and almost jumped in shock at the look on his face. He always looked grumpy, but now he just looked angry. Maybe he hadn't had breakfast today morning.

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

“Okay then” said Kenma, and we walked towards the bus together.

Nakashima wasn’t there when we went in the dorm. He’d sent me a text saying that he’d be staying at a friend’s place-which was perfect, seeing as four teenage boys spending the night in one tiny room would’ve been just a tad bit uncomfortable.

The first thing we did was take a walk around the campus. Kageyama had seen it before, obviously, but Kenma hadn’t, so I was showing him around. I entertained him throughout by telling him funny stories about the college students and the stupid shit they did. He smiled, and seemed to be enjoying himself, though he did look at his phone a lot.

Some of the stories even Kageyama hadn’t heard, so I expected him to be laughing along with me. But he was surprisingly quiet. He barely spoke, talking only when I asked him something, and he kept throwing glances at Kenma.

On our way back, we stopped at the cafeteria to have some lunch ( I was _starving,_ and I think Kenma found my face-stuffing habit kind of funny), and then headed back to the dorm.

Then the video games came out. Kenma had come fully prepared, pulling gadget after gadget out of his bag. First he brought out his laptop, then he took out a DS, and then he took out another one. He gave one of them to me and asked Kageyama if he wanted the other. That way, he could play with me, while Kenma played something else on his laptop. But Kageyama was being really weird. He was sitting at the corner of Nakashima’s bed and staring at the two of us. When Kenma asked him if he wanted to play, he declined.

“I’m going to go take a walk.” He said, suddenly getting up.

“What?” I asked, confused “We just took a walk!”

“Yeah, well, I’m just going out to get a bit of fresh air okay?” he said, and with that, he walked out of the room.

What the hell was up with that guy?

“Well,” I said, turning around to look at Kenma “looks like it’s just the two of us then!”

“Ummm” Kenma was visibly uncomfortable, his hands wrapped around the DS, as he looked at me uncertainly  
“Is Kageyama okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s fine! He probably just ate too much or something.”

“Okay..”  He stared at his feet, still clutching the videogame

“Let’s start playing then!” I said, grinning at him.

He looked up and smiled, switching on the DS.

* * *

 

Kageyama came back an hour later, when Kenma and I were already deep into the game.

“You’re back! Man, you really missed out – Kenma and I’ve been having so much fun!”

“Yeah..” he said “Looks like it.”

“Well, it’s not too late! We’ve got the entire night to have fun, eh?”

“Actually,” he said, staring at the floor “I kind of need to leave now.”

I looked up from my screen, frowning.

“Leave? Now?!Why?” What was he on about? We were going to spend all our time chilling out and playing video games with Kenma! Why was he packing his stuff?

“I just realized I have some really important homework I need to finish. I completely forgot about it before.”

“Are you stupid, Kageyama? We’re supposed to finish all our homework before the match! That’s the deal!”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, I just forgot this time.” He said, his voice flat, as though he really didn’t care. He picked up his bag and went to the door.

“Sorry” he growled, before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chp much, tbh. Tell me what you though of it


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Kageyama may or not be ignoring Hinata, and Hinata may or may not be very frustrated.

I was very confused.  
And kind of mad.  
What the hell had just happened? What on earth was Kageyama doing? We never left work unfinished on match days. Match days were _our_ days. They were days I didn’t have to worry about studies or college or anything else – days I could spend playing volleyball and having fun with Kageyama. I loved match days. Why was he ruining one of them?

While I sat there, all shocked and dumbfounded, Kenma looked unfazed. When I turned to him, eyebrows raised (as if he could possibly know what was going on inside Kageyama’s thick head), he just shrugged, and took out his laptop  
“Wanna play Counter Strike? I have the latest one.”

Thank god for Kenma.

* * *

 

I was still very confused. And still mad. But I was confused and mad with the new CS, which made all the difference in the world.

It was now 11 pm and Kenma and I were still glued to our screens. I’d sent Kageyama a couple of texts, but he hadn’t replied. Whatever. He was probably just busy finishing that homework he’d foolishly forgotten about.

I was mad about him leaving, but hanging out with just Kenma was fun too. He was a pretty cool person, even though he didn’t talk much. He just played his games, curled up in the same position for hours – like a cat.  
Unfortunately, he was leaving too. He said that he had plans to stay at Kuroo’s.

“Are you sure? It is pretty late, you know. You could just stay over at my place!” I suggested

“No, that’s all right. Kuroo’s coming to pick me up.”

Sure enough, Kuroo showed up a while later. He came in and Sat with us for a while, talking to me about the match and college and stuff in general.

“Where’s Kageyama?” he asked, eating a handful of the chips Kenma and I had been munching on all evening.

“Oh, he went home. He had some work to do.” I replied

“Work? Wasn’t he going to stay over?”

“Yeah, but he apparently forgot some homework or something. So he left.”

“Right.” He said, throwing a brief glance at Kenma.  
Then Kenma packed up his stuff and they both left, promising to meet up again sometime.

I sat on my bed, looking at the empty room, wondering what do next. I looked over to Nakashima’s bed, he wasn’t there today, or we could’ve done something together. I turned towards my computer. I could kill some time on the internet, but I didn’t really feel like it. Besides, going on the internet meant I’d inevitably end up checking my mail, which meant looking at the messages from my teachers and being reminded of all the work I had to catch up on, which didn’t sound fun at all.  
My gaze shifted to the pile of books lying on the desk next to the laptop. Oh god no. I was _not_ going to study. Not today. Kageyama might not be there, but it was still match-day, and match day policies were clear – zero studying.

I let out a deep breath, falling back on my bed, staring at the ceiling while my feet still rested on the ground. Maybe I should just go to sleep. I mean, it was already midnight, and I’d had a pretty busy day. Volleyball matches were exhausting.  
I pulled my feet up, pushing myself further up the bed till my head found my pillow. I was already wearing my comfortable shorts so I didn’t even have to change.

I checked my phone one last time. Still no messages. I pulled my covers up, turned around to my side, and went to sleep.

* * *

 

Okay, now, I was confused, mad, and worried. It was Sunday, which meant it had been more than a day since Friday’s practice match. Kageyama _still_ hadn’t spoken to me, which was really weird. I’d been surprised to receive no messages yesterday, he usually texted me every day, sometimes starting right in the morning. He always had something to say, whether it was grumbling about college, or talking excitedly about volleyball, or just random rubbish. But this time, all I’d gotten was silence. I’d sent him at least a dozen texts, and had even tried calling him last night, but he hadn’t picked up the phone.  
What on earth was he doing? He couldn’t possibly be _so_ busy that he hadn’t had the time to send me even one text! He was acting really strange, and it was really bothering me.

After sending him one more text, I climbed onto my bed, settling in to take a short afternoon nap.

I slept a lot longer than I’d wanted to, and now I felt dazed and lethargic. To feel a little better, I decided to walk out in the brisk evening air and get myself a large cup of coffee from the small café next to the university campus. That did help, and I came back feeling refreshed and ready to hit my textbooks.  
I glanced at my phone once again before starting. There were no new messages, as expected.

“Your boyfriend still ignoring you?” said Nakshima, studying on the bed next to mine.

I grabbed my pillow, throwing it right at his face.

“Shut up.” Stupid Nakashima, saying all sorts of rubbish all the time.

He smirked in response.  
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him and paying attention to my textbooks instead. I had so much work to do, I didn’t have time to worry about that stupid Kageyama. If he didn’t want to text me, fine. His choice.

* * *

 

It was Monday. And that idiot hadn’t said one word.

Was he mad at me? Had I done something wrong? I sat in my room, going over everything that had happened on Friday. I’d given the test. Then we’d had the practice match, which we won. I met Kuroo, and then Kenma. Kageyama, Kenma and I came home. We went out for a walk. We ate. Then Kageyama went out for a walk. Kenma and I played video games. Kageyama came back. And then he left.  
Nothing seemed wrong to me (besides Kageyama’s ridiculous behavior, of course). So If I hadn’t done anything, why wasn’t he talking to me? He had a practice match tomorrow, he’d told me that last week. Did he still want me to come over? That’s what we had decided – a usual match day where I’d go watch the match and then stay over at his flat after that. But what with him basically storming out of my dorm on friday, and ignoring me completely these past few days, I wasn’t sure of our plan any more.

I’d sent him several more texts yesterday, all in vain. I tried again today.

May 29th, 10:00 am  
 **Hinata** : Wth is ur problm Kageyama u havnt replied to ANY of my txts!

May 29th, 12:30 pm **  
Hinata** : Wat’s up wid u? Is evrything ok?

May 29th, 2:00 pm  
 **Hinata** : r u mad at me?did I do sumthing?

May 29th, 3:45 pm  
 **Hinata** : goddammit kageyama say something

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket. I had volleyball practice to go to.

* * *

 

Volleyball practice wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. We practiced serves first. I wondered how Kageyama’s serve was coming along. It had always been one of his strengths, even in school, and it had only gotten better since then. He did need to keep a cool head in the match though, or he got too excited and hit the ball with too much force.

We split ourselves into two teams and began playing a match. Coach decided that the first years needed more practice, so Hiro stepped in for Yamada senpai, who was the usual setter. He was good, but not as good as Yamada. And definitely not as good as Kageyama. Kageyama’s genius setter moves were going to be K’s biggest asset in the match tomorrow. I kind of pitied the other team, they would almost certainly underestimate the first years, only to realize their mistake later. Kageyama was probably going to win tomorrow.

Once practice was over, I headed back to the dorm, planning to go to bed a little earlier than usual. My classes would end early tomorrow, but that was just because they were starting early. I’d have to be up at six. Ugh.

Before going to take a shower, I sent one more text to Kageyama.

 **Hinata** : Do u still wnt me to come fr the match 2mrrw?Or is our plan off?

I put my phone on my desk, taking my towel and heading into the bathroom.

 

_*Buzz Buzz*_

I ran out, almost slipping on the bathroom’s wet floor as I scrambled into the dorm and lunged towards the desk. I grabbed my phone

**1 New Message**

**Kageyama:** Be at Kaetsu Univ. by 3 pm sharp. Get that chocolate cake from that nice café. We can eat it at my place after K wins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's given this story kudos, or posted a comment. And to the new readers-I'd really appreciate it if you did the same! Feedback and criticism is very important, so let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kageyama are just friends. Just close friends. Super close bros. Guys being dudes.

At volleyball matches, people usually think that Kageyama is this cool, calculating, intelligent person, and I’m a crazy over-energetic child. But let me tell you, in reality, Kageyama is the child. An irrational, stubborn _child._

“I really wanted that cake.” he said, playing around with the cereal he was supposed to be eating with his spoon. We were at his flat, having some breakfast before I left to go back to college. 

“I got you cake!” I said exasperatedly, reminding for what had to be the thousandth time that I had indeed gotten cake from Pariya café to celebrate his win, like he told me to.

“Yeah but I told you get the _chocolate_ cake, dumbass. You got the strawberry and vanilla one.”

“I told you-they ran out of the chocolate cake! It’s not my fault” It was true. The café had been having an exceptionally busy day, and was all out of their signature chocolate cake when I got there. They had said that there was a fresh batch in the oven, but I just hadn’t had the time to wait. So I got something different. So what? It was good too!

Apparently not good enough for Kageyama.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. I’ll just go to the café today.”

I looked at him, nonplussed.

“Are you kidding me? You’re gonna come all the way to Katsukisha because you want cake?!”

“Yup. When’re you leaving? I’ll take the bus with you. I don’t have anything important to today - we can spend some time at the café.”

This dude was crazy. Complete nut job.

“But…but I have classes! I don’t have all day free like you do”

“Do you have classes right now? In the morning?”

Well, he had me there.

“No..I’m free till 12:30.”

“It’s 8:30 am right now – plenty of time left.”

I was still looking at him like he was crazy. I turned to Takeru, who had been cooking wordlessly in the kitchen.

“Takeru-tell him he’s acting crazy”

“Oh no, not really,” he said, still cooking on the stove, his back to the table “I mean, he just wants to eat cake with you. Big deal.”

Was I missing something? Was it normal for people to spontaneously decide to go halfway across Tokyo for a slice of cake? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved cake as much as the next guy, but this seemed a bit extreme.  
But well, both of us had some free time, and he seemed to really want that cake, so why not.

“Fine. Let’s go then.”

Besides, a couple more hours with the idiot _might_ be fun.

* * *

 

Thankfully, this time around, they did have chocolate cake. We each took a large slice with a cup of coffee, sitting at a table in the corner. The café was full of mostly college students chilling out with their friends between classes, or sitting in front of their laptops trying to finish projects. Pariya gave Q students discounts, which is why there were always so many of them here. That, and the fact that their food was a lot nicer than the cafetaria’s.

I dug into my cake, licking the spoon clean after wolfing down the first few chocolaty mouthfuls. I looked up at Kageyama, expecting him to be doing something similar, but he was just looking at me, his cake left untouched.

“Hey, Kageyama” I said, clicking my fingers in front of his face to snap him out of whatever daydream he was having “I thought you came all this way to have chocolate cake, not stare into space.”

He blinked a few times, then quickly looked away from me.

“Yeah yeah” he said, taking a spoonful of cake, “Delicious.” he declared.

“Was it really worth a 45 minute bus ride?” I asked

“Definitely.” He replied, with conviction.

“You need a life, Kageyama,” I said, resting my elbows on the table “You have too much time to waste. Get a girlfriend or something.”

Kageyama stopped mid-bite to lean across the table and hit me on the head.

“Keep your mouth shut.” he said sourly

I chuckled “Oh come one Kageyama,” I said “I know you’re too ugly for any girl to like you, but there’s no harm in trying!”

He glared at me, then got back to his cake.  
“I don’t even want a girlfriend.” He mumbled, rolling a chocolate chip around on his plate with his spoon.

“Why not?”

He shrugged “I don’t think I need one. I have volleyball. And…” he added after a short pause “…my friends.”

I nodded. That was understandable.

“What about you?” he asked, looking up from his plate.

“What about me?”

“Why don’t _you_ get a girlfriend, dumbass”

“Ohhh” I leaned back in my chair “I just have a lot of stuff to do. You know, there’s volleyball, and all my classes and studying and stuff… I haven’t really had a lot of time to consider having a girlfriend.”

“So, if you had the time, you’d probably have one?”

“I don’t know…I guess. The girls in my college are pretty cute.” I added, grinning.

He snorted “Like they’d ever be interested in you.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, while he rolled his eyes in response.

We continued chatting, talking of this and that, sipping our coffees. The conversation inevitably turned towards volleyball, and we both discussed yesterday’s match. Kageyama’s team had crushed Kaetsu with a 2-0 win, which was unsurprising. The team may have looked scary, but they had a raw power that, in front of K’s refined and precise game, was rendered useless.

Kageyama talked animatedly about the game, describing Hansuke senpai’s brilliant defense that had saved them so many points, and Itsuo san’s quick serves. His eyes shone as he spoke about what a cool libero Naozumi san was.  
Kageyama usually looked like a pretty intimidating guy, with his height and scary face. He didn’t speak too much, and like, _never_ smiled, which made a lot of people think he was cold, and unapproachable. But those people hadn’t seen him talk about volleyball. When Kageyama spoke about volleyball, he got really excited, like a little kid. His entire face lit up, and it wasn’t scary at all. He got so into it that he didn’t even realize he had a light foam moustache from the coffee. It was kind of… cute.

I leaned forward, resting my chin on my palm, and listened to him as he continued to talk about the game. I was kind of glad he’d come after all. It was nice to spend my morning eating cake and talking about volleyball with him, instead of cooped in a classroom or in my room learning about something I hardly cared about. The café was warm, and comfortable. The pleasant din of conversation and laughter filled the background, and the smell of freshly ground coffee wafted in.  
The air seemed to have a strong hint of cinnamon as well.

* * *

 

“Yo, Hinata!” Takashita waved at me, as he, Masako and Nakashima walked in.

“Hey! Oh, you guys _just_ missed Kageyama-he left like 10 seconds ago.”

“We saw him,” said Nakashima, who was the only one who had actually seen Kageyama before (the rest just knew of him through our conversations) “I said hi.”

“He looked kind of angry,” said Takashita “did you guys have a fight or something?”

“Nah, that’s just his face.”

Takashima frowned, and opened his mouth to say something, but then apparently thought better of it and just said “Right.”

“I thought he was kind of good-looking. He’s so tall!” said Masako, pulling up a chair and sitting down. The two boys did the same.

“Hey, short people can be good-looking too!” I pointed out

“Yes, they can,” she replied “but you can’t.”

She grinned, while I pretended to sulk, and Nakashima and Takashita snickered.

“Please, Masako. I may not be the handsomest guy around, but I’m pretty sure that I’m at least better looking than Kageyama.” I was short, but short is cute. You know what’s not cute? Big scary Kageyama.

“Hmmmm, I don’t know, Hinata,” she said, mock thoughtfully

“You’re adorable, I’ll give you that. But Kageyama’s a different kind of good looking. All tall and handsome. Ooooh and he’s a volleyball player too,” she said, her eyes twinkling “He’s probably fit as hell. He must have abs.”

“He’s weird and gross.” I said, disgusted.

Masako raised one eyebrow, apparently skeptical of my claims.  
“How so?”

“Because…he’s Kageyama. He’s always been weird and gross. His hands are so big, which is good for a setter I guess, but it’s weird. And he looks creepy when he tries to smile. And his hair is always flat – it never gets messed up, even after hours of sweaty, hair-ruining volleyball practice. That’s ridiculous. And yes, he does have abs, but so what? They might be nice to look at or whatever, but they’re nothing special. Plus, he’s got this funny looking birthmark on his back.”

I crossed my arms, pleased with myself. Not so attractive now, was he?

“Wow,” said Masako, both of her eyebrows raised now “You know a lot about him.”

“Well, duh. We were at school together, you know that.”

“Well, yes, but still – that’s a lot of random, and slightly weird, information. Like, how do you even know about the birthmark?”

“We were on the volleyball team together, remember? We all changed in the locker room.” I’d seen Kageyama shirtless countless times.

“I was on the football team, I don’t remember the details of my teammates’ bodies that well”

“Well maybe you just don’t have my skills of observation” I retorted “Honestly, what’s the big deal? Everyone knows that kind of stuff about their friends.”

“You think his abs are nice to look at?” asked Takashita, barely suppressing a smile.

“Well, maybe. Who cares? I mean, doesn’t everyone find abs nice to look at?”

They all glanced at each other. Nakashima cleared his throat

“Yeah man, totally.” He said

“It’s true.” Added Takashita, nodding.

Okay, something was off. They were acting kind of weird.  
Before I could reply, Nakashima said something about being really hungry, and the other two agreed. They got up and went to the counter together, leaving me behind to sit alone and space out.

Sawamura senpai had abs too. I didn’t remember them as well as Kageyama’s, but that’s not the point. They were attractive, no matter who they belonged too. I wasn’t being weird. Also, Kageyama’s birthmark really was oddly-shaped. And it wasn’t strange at all that I knew that, no matter what my friend’s thought. I mean, I’d spent almost each day of three entire years with him, of course I knew random shit about him. People knew weird stuff about their close friends. It was perfectly normal.  
What wasn’t normal though, was nodding to myself like an idiot, without even realizing it, till Masako tapped me on the shoulder and asked me why I was agreeing with thin air.  
They had returned to the table, muffins and coffees in hand. Takashita, bless his soul, had gotten me a muffin too. I brushed Masako’s question away, and turned the conversation towards cake instead.

* * *

 VERY IMPORTANT THING PLEASE LOOK - [Rsinq drew for my fic](http://raisintheta.tumblr.com/post/107224431290). Like actual art (v v nice pretty art i must say) for my trash fic. Please go look at it. Admire it. Bask in it's glory. Try not to cry ( like I did)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another important thing-  
> I'm going to get very busy very soon. I have some really important exams coming up plus some other things I need to be doing. And well, my writing is going to suffer. I didn't want to take a hiatus, but obviously I'm not going to be able to put out chapters every week, so I've decided that I'm gonna update every two weeks. This will go on till mid-march, after which I will hopefully have a lot more time on my hands and might even be able to update more frequently than once a week.   
> I'm sorry for doing this! But I have no choice, this is just going to be a very busy and stressful time. I hope you guys understand!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's not too bad having to wait for two weeks!

Crap.  
It was 8 am.  
How had I not realized the time?  
I’d have to run to class now.  
No time for breakfast.  
Goddammit.

I quickly shoved my books into my bag, told Nakshima (who was brushing his teeth) that I was going to class, and left the room. I ran down two flights of stairs and halfway across the campus to my Economics class, getting a whiff of the food I was skipping from the cafeteria as I whizzed past it. I entered the classroom, mumbling an apology to the professor, who carried on teaching, oblivious to the noise I made as I tripped on my way to the empty seat next to the window.

I paid attention for a full twenty five minutes before I started staring out the window. Damn- that had to be record, I didn’t think I’d ever gotten past twenty. Such a proud moment.  
There wasn’t really anything interesting outside the window, but my hyperactive mind didn’t really need much to get distracted. I looked at people walking about and hanging around for about five minutes before reminding myself that my focus should be on the lesson going on inside the classroom instead of the random students outside it.  
It lasted a painful hour and a half, by the end of which my stomach was making dying whale noises and every nerve in my body ached from the lack of coffee in my bloodstream. I had always had the appetite of a tiny elephant, but my coffee addiction was new. The taste had never appealed to me, even at the beginning the year, when I had juice every morning. But now, I needed it to survive. I think it’s just something that happens to everyone once they come to college. You know, start living independently, learn new things, make new friends, become dependent on caffeine.

I had just about 10 minutes before my next class started, 10 valuable minutes I spent scrolling through social media on my phone and eating a nutrition bar. I always carried nutrition bars with me in my bag – another habit I’d picked up after coming to college. Running around between classes and practice, I sometimes couldn’t finish my meals (or worse, I skipped them entirely) and so, nutrition bars were very useful. They could be eaten on the go and weren’t messy or anything.  
The one thing I hadn’t learnt after coming to college was how to sleep while standing up. Now _that_ would be really useful. Then I could just grab quick powernaps during tiny breaks like these.

My ten minutes of bliss were over way too soon, and I had to walk to the classroom in the opposite building, across the small courtyard-like thing between the two structures, for my next lesson – accounting. My brain physically hurt at the idea of having to go through an hour and a half of accounting on an empty stomach and a coffee-devoid system.  
“Just one more” I thought to myself, “Just one more and I then I can eat a ton of food and drink galleons of coffee and maybe even lie down somewhere for five minutes hell yes”

The thought cheered me up and I walked down the corridor dreaming happily of the enormous portion of ramen I was going to treat myself to later.

* * *

 

Ramen. Delicious Ramen. Heavenly Shoyu Ramen, with gorgeous thick wavy noodles swimming in chicken broth. Wonderful thick fatty slices of braised pork that melted in your mouth, marinated bamboo shoots and green onions that gave a little zing to the dish, and one soft boiled egg to top it all off.  
I could feel the salty, tangy, mind-blowingly amazing flavours flood my mouth, which was already salivating. I could imagine it so vividly, a large bowl of deliciousness, piping hot and aromatic and –

“Hinata, can you state the difference between capital and revenue expenditure?”

“Umm….”

* * *

 

I once used to gag at the smell of coffee, thinking it was too strong, too bitter. I was so glad wasn’t that person any more.  
Well yeah, maybe in school, coffee and I might not have gelled so well. I was a hyperactive child, so pumping me full of caffeine wouldn’t have been that great of an idea.  
But I was older and more mature and stuff.  
I still didn’t drink black strong coffee though. I would never be _that_ old and mature.  
I was finally in the cafeteria, stuffing my face full of the much anticipated ramen and coffee. I was sitting alone at the table, which probably made the other students think I was some sort of loser, but I didn’t even care. The food and I were having a moment.

Just when I’d finished eating, Mayumi and Masako came in. They laughed at the sight of me (which, I admit, might have been funny, because I was slumped back in my chair, eyes half closed, slowly patting my full belly), and sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Hey, you wanna come to the Pariya later with us?” asked Masako “Mayumi’s craving something sweet and I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve gone.”

“Nah, I just went there yesterday with Takashita.”

“Ahh all right. I think the last time I went there was with all of you guys, a couple of weeks ago. You know,” she said “ the time you were here with Kageyama?”

“Ohh yeah… I remember that.”

“Dammit, I wasn’t there then!” said Mayumi “I missed Kageyama! I really wanted to meet him!”

“It’s all right, Mayumi,” said Masako “We didn’t really meet him either. We just saw him, and then listened to Hinata talk about him.”

“Ugh” I slowly straightened up “You make it sound like I went on about him for hours. I just told you some random stuff.”

“Yeah, like how nice his abs are and how he has a birthmark on his back” replied a twinkly-eyed Masako, making Mayumi giggle

I gave them the best “are you serious good god” look I could.  

“I’ve just known him for a really long time, okay?”

“Not really, though”

“Huh?”

“Well, I mean, you’ve known him since high school,” Mayumi explained “Which means you’ve known him for just a bit more than three years.”

That didn’t sound right. Just three years? Surely I’d known him for longer…  
But she was right. Technically, I’d met Kageyama in middle-school, but we became friends only in high school, which meant I’d known him for just 3 years.  
For some reason, I was having trouble accepting that. I felt like I’d known Kageyama for a really long time, like we’d been friends for years and years. My memories with him were limited to high school, but there were so many of them it felt like they spanned an entire lifetime. I remembered the times before Karasuno well enough, of course, but not as vividly as I remembered my time there.  
It was probably just because they were the most recent memories I had.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” I replied

“You guys grew pretty close in just 3 years, huh?” Mayumi twirled the straw in her cold coffee

I shrugged “We spent a lot of time playing volleyball together.”

“Was volleyball the only thing you did together?” asked Masako

“Well no, duh. We did other ordinary stuff together too – eating lunch, going home from school, playing video games, watching matches, going to movies and cafes and restaurants – regular high school stuff.”

“Yeah, regular high school couple stuff” muttered Mayumi

I rolled my eyes “Kageyama and I were not a couple!”

Honestly. Just because we spent a lot of time together didn’t mean we were dating. We were good friends, that’s all. I mean, there’s such a huge difference between liking someone and _liking_ someone.  
At least, that’s what I’d heard. I didn’t really know what _liking_ someone felt like. Still, I was pretty sure it wasn’t what I felt for Kageyama. That was different.

* * *

 

 I entered my dorm to find it empty – Nakashima was probably somewhere near the swimming pool. He’d met this cute girl from the swim team and seemed to be spending an increasing amount of time there every day.

I went to dump my bag on the chair in the corner of the room, but couldn’t, seeing as there was a mountain of dirty clothes on it. There were too many books and loose sheets strewn around the desk, so there was no space there either. I sighed, making a mental note to tell Nakashima that we needed to clean up, and put the bag on the edge of the bed.  
The bed, except for the big shabby bag plonked in its center, looked really comfortable. I thought about taking a nap, but then remembered the large amount of coffee I’d just had. Yeah, there’s no way I’d fall asleep after that.  
Well, if I had the energy boost, I might as well do something useful with it. I brought out the notes I’d taken during class and read through them, sometimes multiple times so that I understood the concept fully.

I studied for about an hour or so before I had to get ready for volleyball practice. I pulled out my uniform from the cupboard, changed into it quickly, and then left the room to go towards the sports building.

I could hear the familiar sounds of rubber soles squeaking off the hardwood floor, people yelling out to each other, the coach blowing the whistle, as I neared the court. I quickened my pace, almost running by the time I reached the doors.

“Hinata!” the coach called out “Finish your warm up and then join Hiro’s team.”

“Yes, sir!”

I finished all my stretches, then headed towards the court to start playing.  
“Wait, Hinata, come here.” The coach beckoned me to him

“Why do you have bags under your eyes?”

“What?”

“You heard me! Bags. Under your eyes. Why are they there?  
You haven’t been sleeping properly, have you? Look at you – you’ve even grown thinner since college began. This won’t do, Hinata! You have to stay healthy!”

I bowed my head “Yes, Morita san.”

“Start taking care of yourself. Now go,” he clapped me on the back “join the others.”

I jogged towards my team, slightly embarrassed. The coach was right, I should be taking care of myself. I’d been very healthy the first few days after Sugawara senpai had given me a similar scolding, but then I’d slipped back into my regular routine, which apparently, wasn’t that healthy. I’d have to make some changes if I wanted to stay fit. I couldn’t let my bad habits affect my game.

I went to the center of the court, in front of the net, taking my position as spiker. Kawakami served hard from the other side, but Kimura senpai managed to take it, getting the ball to Hiro, who launched it towards me. I jumped up, my hand stretched out, and looked down at the other side of the net. Sakamoto senpai and Oshima senpai had come up to block me, but they were just a bit too much to the right. I brought my hand down, slamming the ball hard toward the left, and landed back on the ground to hear the satisfying *thunk* of the ball hitting the floor on the other side.  
I grinned as I jogged to the back of the court. It wasn’t a big deal now, all my spikes were expected to be successful. But, even after all these years, my hand still stung.

* * *

 

I entered the dorm, sweaty and tired, and this time, Nakashima was there. He had his text books laid out in front of him, so I thought it was best not to disturb him. I collapsed, exhausted, on the bed. I wished I could just stay there, on the nice soft bed, and sleep there for eternity.  
But I had shit to do.  
I looked at the pile of still unread notes lying on my desk and groaned. It was going to be another long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just all agree that Hinata is a poor oblivious idiot child


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hinata realises that his roommate may, once in a blue moon, be right.

**Kageyama:** You have tests this week?

 **Hinata:** Yup.And I kinda need to do alot of last minut studying.So Ive told everyone to not call/txt me fr 3 days.

 **Kageyama:** Oh….okay.

 **Hinata:** I’ll talk to you on the 12th then.Thats wen we r going to Miyagi for Obon right?

 **Kageyama:** Yeah. Ttyl then. Good luck.

* * *

 

‘…. The empirical analysis shows that in most industries with two competitors, positive profits are made. Solutions to the Paradox attempt to derive solutions that are more in line with solutions from the Cournot model of competition, where two firms in a market earn positive profits that lie somewhere between the perfectly competitive and monopoly levels.’

Chapter over. Finally. I could give myself the immense satisfaction of slamming my textbook shut and pushing it away.

“Nakashima, I’m done, give it back to me now.”  
Nakashima took my phone out from his pocket, holding it in his outstretched hand – an indication for me to get up and I get it on my own because he was too much of a lazy piece of shit to give it to me. I stood up, arching my back and stretching my arms, and then walked up to him to get my phone. I’d given it to him before I’d started studying. I knew how terrible my attention span was, so I’d handed it to him for safekeeping – to ensure I stayed focused on my text book instead of my screen.

I went through my messages, expecting to see one from Kageyama.

“Not texts from him today, Hinata.”

I looked up at Nakashima, confused. He rolled his eyes before replying.  
“No texts from Kageyama till your tests get over, remember?”

Oh. Right. I’d forgotten.

“Good god, Hinata, you forgot yesterday too.

“Yeah yeah, I’m just absent minded.”

“Or,” began Nakashima “You just miss him.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

“Please shut up, Nakashima.”

He gave me that stupid cheeky smile of his, and I began to get ready to leave.

I pulled my shoes out from under the desk and started wearing them. I didn’t _miss_ Kageyama. That’s ridiculous. I mean, it’s not like I _needed_ to talk to him every day or anything.  
The laces were all jumbled up, I’d have to sit and untangle them. We just _happened_ to talk to each other every day. There was just always something to say. When you’re friends with someone for a while, that happens, right?  
I wore my jacket and put my phone in my pocket. If I kept forgetting that we weren’t talking, it was just because I was used to talking to him so much. It was like an old habit, you know?

I slung my bag around my shoulder and walked out of the dorm. I checked my watch – I might actually have been early, which was definitely a first.  
Inside the class, I sat in one corner of the room, as far away from the window as possible. The class slowly filled in, the professor being the last to arrive. He handed out the tests and told us to begin right when the bell rang.

I read through all the questions first. They weren’t as difficult I’d though they would be. I might actually do well in this test.  
I began writing, putting down everything I remembered from what I’d studied that morning, even if it might have seemed a bit excessive. Who knows, maybe the long length of the answer would impress the teacher.

I walked out of the classroom an hour later, feeling quite satisfied with myself. I thought I’d gotten most of the answers right, plus I’d been one of the first people to finish, which made me feel pretty cool. I couldn’t wait to tell Kageyama about that – he was always making fun of me for having fast legs but a slow, stupid mind. Well in his face!  
I’d tell him once the holidays began, of course. I hadn’t forgotten _again_.

I spotted a couple of my volleyball teammates sitting under a tree in the courtyard. I went up to them to say hi, and stayed a while to chat. They didn’t have long, though, they were just doing some last minute revision before heading off to give their own tests. I said goodbye and left them to finish their studies.

I was walking back to the dorm, when I spotted a colourful flyer pinned up on one the notice boards that lined the corridor walls.

 **EAT CAKE TO WIN FREE COFFEE**  
COME TO PARIYA CAFÉ AND TAKE PART IN THE MEGA CAKE CHALLENGE  
FINISH ONE ENTIRE PARIYA SPECIAL MEGA CHOCOLATE CAKE AND GET COFFEE FREE FOR A MONTH*

SPECIAL OBON OFFER VALID ONLY TILL 15TH JULY

COME SOON!!

                                                        

                                                        *Terms and Conditions apply

 

Oh my god. Eat cake? To get free coffee? God himself had made this challenge for me, and Kageyama – I needed to tell him about this. I whipped out my phone and quickly snapped a picture of the poster. I was just about hit ‘send’, when I remembered.  
Tests. Studies. No texting Kageyama.

I sheepishly put the phone back in my pocket, cursing myself for forgetting the same thing a million times.  
Stupid absentmindedness.

Or maybe, a little voice inside me whispered, _just maybe,_ Nakashima hadn’t been completely wrong.

* * *

 

Another day, another test I didn’t want to give.  
This one was going to be in the afternoon, which meant I had all morning to study for it. Nakashima didn’t have any more tests, so he was out having fun, while I sat alone in the room, hunched over my textbook.

The fact that this was the last test kept me going. After this, I would be free (well, temporarily, at least) and tomorrow I would be going back to Miyagi for the Obon festival. I couldn’t wait to go home!  
Kageyama would be there too, of course. We both had talked about how awesome it was that were finally getting a break , and how great it would be to go home. After all, this would be first time we’d be returning to Miyagi since we’d come to college. We were both kind of homesick by now.  
Kageyama would be leaving today evening, with one of his classmates, while I would take the train tomorrow morning, alone. Not that I minded going on my own, it would just get a little bit boring. Kageyama was a loser, but he could be kind of fun on long train rides. He had a pretty good music collection, plus we played this really funny game where we would look at people having conversations and try to guess what they were saying by their lip movements. Our guesses were usually hilarious, and Kageyama always –  
  
Oh God dammit. Not again.  
Why was I thinking about Kageyama? I admit that I was missing him a teeny tiny bit, but this was just annoying. The entire point of not talking to him till my tests were over was to reduce my distractions, not increase them. This was kinda backfiring.  
  
I tried to ignore all the other thoughts in my head and focus on the chapter I was supposed to be studying. It worked for about an hour or so, after which I just gave up. Nakashima had come back by then, and he was lying on his bed, reading.  
  
Suddenly, my phone rang. I reached for it, thinking – okay, fine – hoping that it was Kageyama. But the name on the screen said ‘Mayumi’.

“Hey Mayumi”

“Hey Hinata! I just called to say bye, I’m at the station right now and my train’s just about to come. I didn’t get the chance to meet you in college, so I thought I’d call you instead.”

“Ohh, right. Have a safe journey, Mayumi! I hope you have a nice holiday with your family.”

“You, too Hinata! I’ll see you on the 16th!”

“Yup! Bye!”

I put the phone back on the desk, settling down in my chair for another go at the lesson.

“That was Mayumi?” asked Nakashima, his eyes still on the book he was reading.  
  
“Yup. She called to say bye.” I replied, turning around. I hadn’t really noticed what he was reading before, but now, it caught my attention. It had a bright pink cover, with a uniform-clad  girl and guy holding hands in the center, and the words ‘Together, Always and Forever’ printed at the top in large curly writing.

 “Umm..Nakashima?”

“hmm?”  
  
“Are you reading shoujo manga?”

“Yeah. Kaori said that this was one of her favourite stories, so I decided to give it a try.”

Ahh, that explained it. Kaori was the cute swim team girl. If Nakashima was willingly reading what looked like a really cheesy romance manga, then he must’ve really been interested in her.

“So how is it?”

“Ehh, it’s all right”

Well that took me a little by surprise. I’d expected him to hate it outright.

“But isn’t it really corny and unrealistic?”

“Well, yeah, but some of it seems kind of realistic. For example,” he said, looking up “in the story right now, the protagonist’s love interest has gone away for a few days, and she has no means of contacting him. She misses him a lot, and is constantly thinking about him. Like, it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, something always reminds her of him. Does that ring a bell, Hinata?” he asked, on eyebrow raised.  
  
I looked at him, puzzled.  
“Huh? Why would it ring any bells for me?”

He sighed, shaking his head and turning back to the manga

“Figure it out for yourself.”

I sat there, frowning, trying to think of what he had meant. Why was that story supposed to be familiar? Was the protagonist supposed to remind me of someone? But I didn’t know any one like that, or anyone in a situation like that. She missed someone a lot, she thought about them all the time, tiny things reminded her of him…did I know someone like that? That’s what Nakashima thought, but...

Oh.

Right.

So _that’s_ what Nakashima had been hinting at. Well, he was wrong. Maybe all of that applied to me, but that didn’t mean I was in love or anything. I’m sure all of that applied to people who were close friends too.

* * *

 

Clothes, socks, earphones, wallet, food for the train journey, and phone – yup, I was all set. I was gladly leaving my textbooks behind, I didn’t want to see them till I absolutely had to when I got back. For now, I was done studying. I was getting a really short, but well deserved break. I was going to eat loads of tasty food and have fun at the festival. I was going to enjoy three days with my family and friends.

I was going home.

                                             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really slow update schedule, i know, but it's just temporary I promise. Thank you for being patient!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home sweet home.

Clean. That’s how I’d describe my house. It wasn’t usually clean, of course, on any other day it would have been cluttered and messy. But it was Obon. That meant my mum had spent the last week sprucing up the house and decorating it for the festival. And I had to say, it looked pretty good.  
Our small butsudan, which was in one corner of the living room, had been polished to look shiny and almost brand new. Bowls of fruits and vegetables, along with flowers, had been neatly placed on it in offering. Pretty chochin lamps adorned the house, filling it with a warm glow, while mukae bi fires lit up the entrance. The smell of senko incense filled the air.

“Shouyou!” My mum called out from the kitchen

“Yeah?”

“Are you ready? We leave in 15 minutes!”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, good” she said, coming out into the living room. She sat down next to me on the sofa.

“So, how are things at college going?” she asked

“Good…kinda hectic.” I replied

“Hmmm. But I hope you’re taking care of yourself. You look like you’ve lost some weight – you’ve been eating properly, haven’t you?”

The concerned look on her face made me smile.

“Yes yes! I’m not in middle school any more, mum, I can take care of myself! Don’t worry about me”

She laughed “Of course, of course. Sorry Shouyou, but you’ll always be a tiny little kid to me!”

I rolled my eyes, still smiling.  
“Don’t you have other actual tiny little kids to worry about?”

“Oh, yes! Speaking of, where is she?”

She got up, walking out to check on Natsu and see if she was ready.  
She came back ten minutes later, my little sister following her. The three of us, and dad, headed out of the house to go to the grave site. We visited the family plot, cleaning out our ancestors’ graves, and paying our respects to them. We met some of our neighbours and friends, who were doing the same. Then, having finished the ritual, we returned home. I stayed with my family for a while, just talking to them and asking how things were at home. They were good, apparently. Mum and dad were both doing well at work, and Natsu seemed to be enjoying school. I left the house again some time later, this time to meet my friends.

I got my old bike out, expecting it to be dirty and dusty, seeing has it hadn’t been touched in three months. But, it was clean, looking no different than it had when I left it. I think I had mom to thank for that.

I cycled to Kageyama’s house, parking it out right outside his building and heading straight up to his apartment. His mother greeted me, and welcomed me inside. They had just come back from their ancestral grave as well, and were having tea together. She offered me a cup, and I accepted it gladly. They seemed to be talking about their neighbor.

“Hisato san moved away? When?” asked Kageyama

“Oh, just last month.”

“But why?”

“Well,” said his mother, smoothening the nonexistent crease on her trousers “It turns out Hisato san was” she cleared her throat  “a homosexual.”

Kageyama’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. I think had a similar reaction, though slightly less severe.

“Yes, he revealed it to us around a month and a half ago,” she continued, her eyes cast down “He said he wanted to inform us, instead of shocking us later by suddenly entering into a relationship with a man. As you can expect, a lot of people weren’t exactly pleased with the news. They started avoiding him, muttering behind his back, some even insulting him to his face. Even the children, who used to play with him before, stopped coming to see him. In the end, I suppose, he couldn’t take it any more, and he moved out.”  
She put her cup down on the table, looking at Kageyama for a response. But Kageyama didn’t seem to have one. He just sat there, staring at his tea.

Well, even if he didn’t have anything to say, I sure did.  
“That’s terrible,” I said “I feel so sorry for him. The people in the building shouldn’t have treated him like that.”

She looked at me, slightly taken aback.

“Well, maybe, but” she said “Can you really blame them? I mean, such news is bound to shock anyone. It revealed an entirely different side of him. He’s a nice man, but after he told us that he was _like that –_ well, it’s understandable that people wouldn’t want their children near him. Not that I have anything against homosexuals, of course,” she added hurriedly  “But it would be difficult for one of them to fit in with other, normal people.”

I was confused. What was she going on about? It made no sense at all. What did she mean ‘other normal people’? They weren’t abnormal! Just because they were gay didn’t mean they were weird or anything. Besides, they couldn’t help how they were.

I was about to tell her just that when Kageyama suddenly stood up.

“Come on, Hinata,” he said “We should get going.”

He wanted to leave now? Wasn’t he going to say anything?

I stared at him, frowning slightly. He didn’t look like he wanted to say anything. He looked like a mixture of what his faced had looked like the few times someone had confessed to him in school, plus the face he made when he had to drink that disgusting goopy green juice his coach forced the entire team to drink. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to get out of the there.

“Let’s go, they’ll be waiting for us.” He said, his voice flat, devoid of emotion.

He had a point, we were getting kinda late. I thanked his mother for the tea, and the two of us left. I decided to leave my bike at his place, and then pick it up on my way back later.

 

We heard them before we saw them. The sounds of raucous laughter and loud chattering emanated from Sakanoshita, making the otherwise quiet street seem noisy. Kageyma and I both grinned, and started walking faster. The walking got rapidly faster and faster, and suddenly we were all out sprinting. We raced, neck and neck, neither one of us giving the other a chance. Damn, Kageyama had gotten faster since high school! But he’d never be fast enough to beat me. I put little more force in my legs and rushed forward, laughing as I left him behind. We reached the shop mere seconds apart, and leaned against the door, panting.

“Ha! Beat you again, Kageyama Slowbio!” I said gleefully

“Shut u - ”

He was cut short by a loud eruption of laughter behind us. The entire flock of ex-crows was guffawing, some even shaking their heads at us.

“Hinata!” yelled Tanaka senpai and Noya san, tackling me with a bear hug before I even had the chance to say hello.

“Tanaka senpai! Nishinoya san!” I yelled back.  
I think we spent at least five minutes just hugging and yelling excitedly at each other. Then, I finally got the chance to look at the others.  
Kageyama had gone to stand with Sugawara senpai and Sawamura senpai. The two of them were smiling broadly, as was coach Ukai behind the counter. I received warm, hearty hugs from them, Ukai-san accompanying his with several pats on the back as well. He then gave everyone free popsicles, which just widened everyone’s already ear-to-ear smiles.

Not one of them had changed. In any way. Sugawara senpai asked me worriedly about my recent loss in weight, Daichi senpai ruffled my hair and complemented my recent (slight) increase in height, coach talked about how he’d seen Morita-san play when he was a child, and Tanaka and Nishinoya demanded to know all about the pretty girls at college. The conversation flowed so smoothly, there were no awkward pauses or uncomfortable silences. Sitting there with them, talking about studies and volleyball, I could’ve sworn I was back in high school.

It felt so good to be able to seem all of them again. I don’t think I’d realized how much I’d been missing them till I actually met them. It was just so comfortable with them. We had been through three years of sweat, blood, tears, laughter, stress, excitement, and happiness together. We knew each other inside out by now. We had endless memories to reminisce about, and so many new experiences to share. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in months.

Honestly, it was the little things. Nishinoya san cracking bad jokes while Tanaka senpai called them lame but laughed at them anyway, Sugawara senpai and Sawamura senpai enquiring about everyone’s well-being, Ukai-san taking long drags of his cigarette and telling them to keep quiet when they got too noisy. Oh how I’d missed these people.

“Okay, okay,” said Tanaka senpai, motioning for everyone to quiet down “Let’s get to the important stuff. So, how many of you have girlfriends?”  
“And shut up Noya, we all know you don’t have one.” He added. The ex-libero stuck his tongue out at him.

“Well?” he demanded, when no one responded “None of you??”

“Well, umm, actually,” began Sugawara senpai slowly

Tanaka gasped “Suga-san! You? A girlfriend?” he said dramatically

“All right, Suga-san!’ cheered Nishinoya, grinning.

“No no no, listen!” said Sugawara senpai hurriedly. He took a deep breath before saying “I don’t have a girlfriend.”  
There was a tiny pause, after which he continued  
“I have a boyfriend.” He laced his fingers around Sawamura senpai’s, who was staring at the floor, his cheeks red as tomatoes.

I didn’t get it first. I was all ‘what’s going on why are they holding hands is Suga-senpai gonna tell us how is girlfriend/boyfriend/whoever is or not?’  
Then it hit me.  
Everyone else seemed to be having a delayed reaction as well. There was a minute of silence where everyone just stared at the two of them, while they waited for us to say something. Then, Tanaka and Nishinoya yelled. I don’t even know what they yelled, but they were excited and shocked and loud. After I realized what Suga senpai had just said, I yelled too. We were thrilled.  
It actually made so much sense. The two of them were like the team’s parents. Sugawara senpai was kind and caring and would always give you advice when you went to him with a problem. Sawamaura senpai was strong and helpful and would clap you on the shoulders and sternly tell you to believe in yourself when you told him you were in trouble. It’s like their personalities had been tailored to suit each other. They were perfect together.

Kageyama was the last to respond. He went to them after the rest of us had finished thumping them on the back and yelling congratulations at them. While the rest of us beamed at the couple, overjoyed, Kageyama looked dead serious. But not a scary serious. It was more of an …emotional serious..? I hadn’t seen that face before.  
He clasped each of their hands, shaking them, and congratulating them. He didn’t smile even once, but he looked kind of happy. No, happy wasn’t the right word. Well, he wasn’t frowning, but just that didn’t mean he was happy, did it? He looked kind of…grateful. Like, an intense grateful. Whatever emotion he was having, Sugawara senpai seemed to understand it, as he smiled warmly at him, holding his hand with both of his own.

Coach Ukai passed around free dumplings to celebrate, and we all ate them merrily, the mood now a hundred times more joyful (as if it han’t been cheery enough already). The conversation couldn’t help but be centered on the couple. We cursed ourselves playfully for not having noticed before, and recounted tales of the times in high school when the two, now that we thought about it, had been very obviously in love with each other. They denied everything, but it was hard to believe them when they were blushing.

Their hands remained entwined the entire time.

* * *

 

“It was good seeing everyone today, huh?” said Kageyama, as we walked back home together.

“Yeah! It was amazing! And the news about Suga senpai and Sawa senpai was so amazing! It’s so cool that they’re together!”

My happy, ecstatic mood hadn’t worn down, and I couldn’t stop talking about everything that had happened. It was just such great news!

I went to Kageyama’s building with him so that I could pick up my bike. It was parked in front of a wall, along with some other bikes. Little children played near the parking, screaming and crying at each other.  
I went to unlock my bike, but for some reason, I was having trouble with the lock. I fidgeted with it for a few seconds, and then Mr. Impatient called me an idiot and walked towards me to help. At that moment, one of the children’s little ball rolled away, and stopped right in front of Kageyama. The oaf didn’t see it, and before I could warn him, he stepped on it and tripped, falling forwards.  
Forwards, i.e. right towards me. For a moment, I was terrified. I would walk on the sun before I admitted this to Kageyama, but he was really tall and it was kind of scary being that little and seemingly-fragile in front of someone that huge.  
I froze in place as his hands flailed wildly before resting on the wall behind me, his face stopping inches from mine. Kageyama, who had always boasted about being taller than me, was now at eye-level. His big, dark eyes were right in front of mine. It was like the two of us had been paralysed or something - we couldn’t move. Everything seemed oddly silent but ridiculously loud at the same time. I could hear his breath, and the sound of my heart thumping in my chest, but the noisy children had apparently been muted. Weird tingly sensations coursed through my body.

He was so close.

And then, he was a foot away. Something had suddenly clicked inside him, and he had jumped away from me. I blinked rapidly a few times, coming to my senses.

“Sorry” he said, looking everywhere but at me.

“Uh yeah, that’s all right” I responded.  
After that, I worked on autopilot. My body calmly pulled my cycle out, climbed on it, and rode away, while my mind buzzed with a jumble of confused thoughts.

Why did my heart beat so hard?  
His eyes were really really dark.  
What was up with my stomach? Had I eaten something funny?  
His nose was longer than I’d imagined.  
Why hadn’t I been able to move?  
I don’t think I’d ever seen Kageyama’s face from that angle before.

I reached home and went straight to my room, flopping down on my bed.

I didn’t remember ever getting these feelings. My heart hadn’t fluttered when Tanaka senpai or Noya-san had come that close to me. The world hadn’t stopped to a standstill the countless times Mayumi or Masako had shoved their face in front of mine, trying to annoy me.

I checked my phone. There was one message from Nakashima

 **Nakashima:** having fun in Miyagi with your bf?

By ‘bf’ he obviously meant Kageyama. He was being stupid, I’d told him a million times that we weren’t together. But he thought I liked him, which was ridiculous. We were just friends. Him thinking differently didn’t change that. Neither did these strange new feelings of mine.  
I mean, just because I thought about him sometimes, and maybe even missed him once in a blue moon, and was having weird feelings didn’t mean I was in love with him.

Right?

                                                     * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise again for the really slow update schedule- but i have no choice. These exams are really stressing me out!   
> I might even have to take a hiatus :(  
> But we'll talk about that when we get to it. For now, pat yourself on the back for having read this. Give yourself a round of applause if you kudos'ed. Frikkin standing ovation for you if you commented. You have made a silly girl somewhere in India smile weirdly at her screen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't post on tuesday! I've just gotten really really busy and this is like the first time i'm touching my laptop in like 4 days. I hope it's worth the wait!

“I wonder if Haruki’s defense has gotten any better” I thought to myself “Maybe he grew taller over the summer….that’d be useful.” Haruki wasn’t exactly short, but he wasn’t as tall as a usual blocker either.  “A lot of them might have gotten taller during the summer…hopefully not Kiyoshi though.” Kiyoshi was really tall. And I mean like, _really_ tall. Like, taller than Kageyama tall. He used to make me jump to high five him. I hoped, for the sake of my own dignity, he hadn’t gotten any taller. “I hope Izumi has been working harder.” Izumi was an undoubtedly talented setter, but he had this bad habit of slacking off. He was always getting scolded by Yamaguchi, and almost always responded with a good-natured, seemingly humble “Sorry captain! It won’t happen again!” If he hadn’t improved, Yamaguchi would get pretty pissed off. Even if he wasn’t there to reprimand Izumi himself, Kageyama would be a good enough substitute. As a setter, Kageyama had taken Izumi’s lack of effort as a personal insult, and had tried hard to make him learn techniques and take the position seriously.  
It had been kind of funny actually. Kageyama was a short tempered guy, so watching him trying to restrain himself (Captain’s orders) and be patient while teaching Izumi had been very amusing. I gave him a round of applause every time he managed to not hit our dear kouhai when he poked fun or didn’t pay attention.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a lively Natsu who sang “Oni-chaaaan!” and jumped onto the bed next to me.

“Hey” I said, as she sidled up closer to me and smiled brightly. She’d been feeling extra (overly) affectionate these days, and I thought it might have had something to do with the fact that she hadn’t seen me for months and had been missing me a little bit. We both might have prayed for the other to disappear plenty of times in the past, but now that I was actually gone, well - we were brother and sister after all.

“What’cha thinkin’ about?”

“Oh just volleyball”

“What about volleyball?”

“Well…my old volleybally team at Karasuno…how they’re all doing now...how much fun we used to have together…we’ve had some really funny moments at the club! You know, one time, Kageyama was really distracted, and he aimed his serve so badly that it went and hit Coach. Oh, he was _really_ in trouble then. And this other time, while were cleaning up after practice, he slipped on a wet part of the court, and pushed Sawamura senpai, falling right on top of him. Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen his face go that red! He also once hit himself with the ball. Like honestly, how do you even manage to do that? He’s ridiculous.” I finished

“But onii-chan, that means you weren’t thinking about volleyball.” said Natsu

“Huh? Yes I was, I just told you.”

“You told me about the funny things Kage-kun did. You were thinking about Kage-kun, not volleyball!”

I looked at her speechless, while she smiled proudly at having deduced that.

“No I wasn’t!” I replied hotly “Anyways, don’t you have homework or something?”

Her smile immediately turned into a pout.

“I don’t want to do homework. It’s boring.”

“Well, you don’t have a choice. Go,” I said, pushing her off the bed “finish it.”

She frowned at me, her eyes big and hurt like I had betrayed her, and stopped out of the room muttering “Onii-chan is a meanie”.

I leaned back against my pillow, cursing my brain’s ridiculous habit of constantly thinking about one idiot. And now even my goddamn ten year old sister had noticed. Great.

* * *

 

“You ready to leave?” said Kageyama, standing in the doorway.

“Yup! Let’s go.”

At that moment, my sister walked into the room.

“Kage-kun!”

“Hey, Natsu” he said, a hint of a smile on his face “How’re you doing?”

“Good! Oh, kage-kun, did you know,” she began, a mischievous grin spreading across her face “ Onii-chan thinks about you all the time!” she said, and then proceeded to run away giggling.

Kageyama looked at me, confused, while I fumbled around my mind for an explanation.

“She meant volleyball!” I clarified “She meant I think about volleyball the time, she just put your name there because you’re the only one from the team she knows. So she just associates volleyball with you.” I explained hurriedly, laughing weakly at the end “Stupid kid.”

Thankfully, Kageyama is an idiot, and accepted that rationalization without a question. He just shrugged his shoulders then told me we should get going.

Cycling to school was obviously a competition, and this time, he won. It was because I hadn’t eaten enough breakfast, okay? I was weak.

Our ex-teammates were sitting outside the school gym, having just finished practice. They met us cheerfully, hugging and shaking hands and clapping backs, all the while laughing loudly and smiling broadly as we settled into the comfortable atmosphere of being with old friends.

Not all of them were familiar faces though, there were some new additions to the team.

“Kageyama-san, Hinata-san – this is Katsumi, Naozumi, Takahiro and Kazumi. They’re first years.”  
They greeted us warmly, and we reciprocated (well, at least I did, I didn’t think Kageyama was capable of being warm).  
They were very friendly, and we got along immediately. They seemed a tad bit intimidated of Kageyama though, and I couldn’t blame them. He was over 6 feet tall and had a face that made him look like he was angry all the time.  
But, as I soon found out, they were intimidated for a different reason, one that had nothing to do with his appearance, and everything to do with his reputation as a ‘genius’.

“Kageyama-senpai, how are your tosses so accurate?” one of them asked (I think it was Kazumi. Or maybe Naozumi. Whatever, the one with the brown hair and glasses.) “Teach me please!”

Kageyama’s face turned red, as he stammered something about “I just practice a lot” and “th-thanks”

I laughed at his discomfort, like any good friend would. The (poor) idiot didn’t know how to handle people saying nice things about him.

“Hinata-senpai,” said Katsumi (Or Takahiro? Ugh- dark hair and blue eyes)  
“I really need to learn to spike the ball the way you do!”  
Well, let’s just say Kageyama wasn’t the only one with red cheeks then.

We chattered about volleyball, they curious about college volleyball, and us about the current Karasuno.

“How’s the team going, captain?” I asked Daisuke, who responded with two thumbs up and a grin. He didn’t talk too much, which is unexpected for a captain, but he spoke when needed, and had this...well, I suppose you could call it charm, that made everyone want to listen to him, and do their best for him.  
Everyone else gave me more detailed answers. They all told me how well the team was doing lately, and gushed about what a good captain Daisuke was, which mad him bury his head in his hands and tell everyone to “shush!”.

“Speaking of captains,” said Izumi “where’s Yamaguchi-senpai?”

“Oh he couldn’t come” I replied

“Yeah he said he had to stay in college” added Kageyama

“Aww that’s a shame.”

Kageyama asked if we could unlock the gym and play a round of volleyball, but it turns out Ukai-san had taken the keys with him, not wanting them to stay behind and practice for a few more hours, like they’d been doing for the past couple of days.

“The Spring Tournament’s coming up! We need to practice as much as we can!” was their justification.

“No guys, Ukai san’s right, you shouldn’t exert yourselves too much.” I told them wisely

Kageyama snorted “Yeah, coming from the guy who once collapsed on the court because he’d been practicing for 6 hours straight for a week and staying up every night to watch match videos.”

“Hey, that was _one_ time!” I protested, while the others either shook their heads or looked at me with their eyes wide,impressed.It really had been just the one time, during our third year. I mean, I’m obsessed with volleyball, but I value my beauty sleep.

Before we knew it, we’d been talking for several hours, and it was time for everyone to leave. Kageyama and I promised to meet them before we went back to Tokyo, and then left to go the festival.

* * *

 

Festivals. Bright lights and pretty colours. Rows and rows of stalls filled with games and food. People, everywhere, with their friends and family, having fun and making merry. The sound of taiko drums booming through the area. The aroma of ten different types of teeth-rotting sweets and double the amount of fried deliciousness. _Festivals._

We met our friends in front of a stall selling candy apples.

“Hinata! Kageyama! Hey!" Yelled Tanaka-san “You want some candy apples? Suga and Daichi are treating us today!”

Sugawara senpai smiled and offered me one, while Sawamura senpai looked like he deeply regretted the decisions he had made.

Kageyama and I both were handed sweets, and the group moved towards the stage at the center, talking and laughing and chowing our way through the stalls as we did so.  
The stage was obviously the main attraction. It was right in the heart of the matsuri, lines of chochin lamps starting there and going towards the rest of the area, making it seem as though the festival grew from this on point, like roots from a tree. A group of dancers moved in a circle on top of it, performing the bon odori, while a rapidly increasing number of people danced the same way around it. The stage dancers were graceful, and precise in their movements, but the people below were a lot more interesting to watch. Some were old, some were young, some wore pretty yukatas, while some danced in jeans and a tshirt, some followed the steps correctly, while some fumbled, moving their arms jerkily as they tried to copy the dancers.

“I wanna dance too. Let’s join in!” suggested Noya-san

“Yeah!” agreed Tanaka-san, and then ran into the crowd with Nishinoya. I followed them excitedly, and the other three soon followed suit, Sawamura senpai dragging a reluctant Kageyama with him.

I came to these festivals every year, and Natsu really liked dancing, so I’d had some practice. I wasn’t elegant or anything, but at least I knew all the steps. Ahead of me, Nishinoya-san and Tanaka-san danced energetically. They were a bit _too_ enthusiastic, the people around them were slowly backing away, giving them space to move with gusto. Sawamura-senpai and Sugwara-senpai seemed to be having a lot of fun as they danced together, sugawara-senpai laughing at his boyfriend’s lack of rhythm and inability to follow the steps correctly.  
Next to me, Kageyama simply walked, his hands in his pocket, making no attempt to dance.

“Oi! Why aren’t you dancing?” I called out over the loud music

“I can’t dance.”

“Yeah you can! Just try it!” I emphasized my actions, indicating that he should copy them.

“No.”

“Oh come on Kageyama! Don’t be a bore! You can do it, just follow the steps!” I urged

He sighed “You won’t stop pestering me till I do it, will you?”

“Nope!”

He rolled his eyes, then slowly brought his hands out of his pocket. He stared at my arms, trying to follow their movement, and then imitated them with his own.  
I wanted to be encouraging and help him learn the dance, I really did. But he was just so terrible at it. He missed the beats, and his limbs were stuff, so he looked like he was a robot trying to be graceful. I couldn’t help but laugh.  
The second a chuckle escaped mouth, he stopped, shoving his hands right back into his pockets and looking away from me.

“Hey, no,” I began “I’m sorry! Just give it another try, it’s only your first time”

But he didn’t want to hear any of it.  
“Let’s just get out of here.”

I sighed. I would’ve liked to dance a little bit more.  
“Oh all right.” Kageyama turned around and left, with me right behind him.

We started to walk out of the circle, but the further we moved from the stage, the more people we encountered. The clearing around the stage was jam packed, and getting out of it to reach the stalls was proving to be extremely difficult. We pushed on, trying to leave the crowd. There were so many people, loud and tall and big, and I was getting squished amongst them. They trampled over my feet, and I tripped and stumbled over theirs as I tried to keep moving forward. I couldn’t see Kageyama anymore.

Suddenly, a hand gripped mine and pulled me ahead. I looked up and saw Kageyama’s tall familiar figure in front of me, guiding my path forward. His hold on my hand didn’t loosen even for an instant as we wound ourselves through the swarm of people. His palm felt warm, pressed against mine, and his fingers touching the back of my hand sent weird tingly sensations through me.

We finally came out of the throng, stopping to catch our breath. The air seemed a lot cooler now that I wasn’t surrounded by a sea of warm, sweaty human bodies. Kageyama exhaled deeply, wiping his forehead. Tiny beads of perspiration clung to his nose, and his cheeks were tinged a soft red. I could still feel the tingly sensation traversing through me.

“Hinata? Umm I think you can let go of my hand now.”                     

                                                                                                                         * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I hate to do this but- I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I'm pretty certain I won't be able to update next tuesday, but I really have no clue when I'll have enough time to write. It'll definitely be before like the 25th of this month though. I'm terribly sorry!:(


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!  
> I'm so so so so so sorry for the terrible wait please forgive me I am a terrible human being.

* _thwack*_

“Umm Shouyou,” my mother looked up at me from the book she was reading, concerned, “are you all right?”

I rubbed the spot on my forehead where I had just smacked myself.

“Yeah- I just felt like there was a mosquito on my forehead-nothing to worry about! I’m fine” I smiled at her, cursing myself internally.   
I was, in fact, not fine. There was definitely something to worry about- my increasingly weird behaviour, particularly around one particular idiot. Last night’s hand-holding incident had been the last straw - that’s what I’d been thinking about when I smacked my forehead out of embarrassment at my stupidity. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal- Kageyama had just brushed it off as something to do with the heat mixed with my general idiocy. But to me, it was another addition to the list of Weird Feelings That Are Confusing me, and the list was now way too long  for my liking. I was starting to get worried. Was there something wrong with me? Did I need medical attention?

My mum seemed to be asking herself the same questions, as she was still looking at me with a concerned expression. I smiled at her again and decided to get up and go to my room before I creeped her out any further. Once in my room, I switched on my computer and opened up Facebook, hoping that other peoples’ weird status updates and highly edited selfies would distract me from my weird thoughts.

For a while, I was good. There were dozens and dozens of pictures of the festival- people had dressed up in yukatas and decorated their houses and had obviously taken pictures of everything. A distant cousin whose name I didn’t even remember had recently gotten married. An old schoolmate had won an award for something. Mayumi had baked some pretty delicious-looking cupcakes with her mom yesterday. Sugawara senpai had posted a picture of him and Sawamura senpai- I definitely liked and commented on that one. There were some more pictures of people in yukatas, and a few status updates about the festival. Some girl had posted a selfie of her with her arm around Kageyama.  
Wait, what?  
I scrolled up frantically, my face inching closer to the screen as I clicked on the picture. The girl was someone called Misaki, and she was pretty cute. She had long dark hair, large brown eyes, and a very bright smile. Her arm was wrapped around Kageyama’s shoulders, and her head leaned against his. The picture was accompanied by a caption that read-

**‘With my dear kouhai Tobio! He may look all big and scary, but he’s a sweetheart in real life :D <3 #cutefriends #volleyball #smiles #fun #happiness’**

Normally, I would’ve laughed heartily at something like this. The photo itself was comical- Misaki’s cheery grin was a sharp contrast to the scowling, angry-looking face of the idiot next to her. The photo with the caption was even funnier. I should have been chuckling at his stupid face, but for some reason, I was not amused.

I didn’t understand why I was so…angry? No, that wasn’t anger. I didn’t even know what it was, but it was unpleasant and I wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. I was pretty sick of confusing emotions by this point.

I quickly shut the tab in the hope that the strange feeling would just go away if I wasn’t looking at the picture any more. It didn’t. I kept thinking about it. I needed a new distraction.

I spotted a book lying on my bed. It was the same book my mum had been talking about last night – she’d been telling me to read it for ages because it was apparently really great and she was totally in love with it and so that meant I would be completely amazed by it as well. My mother had been trying to inculcate a reading habit in me ever since I could remember, but she hadn’t succeeded for 19 years, and I didn’t think she had any chance left.  
Still, the book didn’t look that bad. She’d told me that it was a pretty fast-paced thriller, so maybe I would enjoy it. No harm in trying, right?

I picked up the book and lay down on the bed, propping my head up against half a dozen pillows, and stretching my legs out in front of me. I opened it and began reading.

“ _Tetsuya woke up with a start. His eyes glazed over his surroundings, but it was too dark for him to be able to see anything. His head felt heavy, he felt drained and tired. He tried to get up,_ ”

Did someone just send me a message? I looked at my phone, but it didn’t show any new notifications. It must’ve just been a trick of the light that made me think that the screen flashed. I looked back at the book.

_“He tried to get up, but he couldn’t move his limbs._   
_‘Huh..?’_   
_He tried again, but without any new results. He hadn’t been tied up, he knew that for sure – he didn’t feel any straps or ropes constraining his body. His limbs just felt…paralyzed. The felt like dead weights attached to his body, useless and heavy”_

My neck was starting to hurt a bit. Maybe having that many pillows wasn’t a good idea. I moved them around, adjusting my position, and finally settling down with just two pillows. Ah, now I was truly comfortable and could read in peace.

_“Tetsuya could feel his heartbeat quicken. After the initial daze and confusion, fear was starting to settle in. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t allow himself to panic, it would render him useless and would lead to hasty decision making. He had to stay calm and clear-headed, at all times. That’s what he had been trained for.”_

My eyelids were staring to get heavy, and I could feel my head sinking further into the pillows. I was really _really_ comfortable.

_“Suddenly, he heard a noise. It sounded like footsteps – one, no, two people were coming towards him. He still couldn’t see anything, but he could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer, as well as some faint voices. They, whoever they were seemed to be muttering something about……_

* * *

 

I woke up with my face pressed into a pillow, a book lying open on my stomach, and drool coming out of my mouth. I sat up slowly, groggily rubbing my eyes and checking my phone for the time. It was 6 pm- I had been asleep for a good hour and a half. I wasn’t complaining – it had been a pretty great nap, even if I hadn’t gotten much reading done. Oh well, mum would just have to deal with the disappointment.   
I had woken up just at the right time though. I was supposed to leave at 6:30 to go near the river for toro nagashi, and I really needed to take a shower before that.

I laid out a pair of clean clothes and walked into the shower. I switched on, and just stood there, letting the water run down my body and wash the laziness out of me.

* * *

 

“Why are the others late?” grumbled Kageyama, as we sat on a bench, waiting for our friends to arrive.

“I don’t know, something about Noya-san and Tanaka-san getting really hungry and wanting to stop for fries” I replied

He ‘hmm’ed in response and we both continued looking at the people bustling around. There were a lot of them, some walking towards the river, several sat on benches, writing messages on their lanterns. There were a bunch of kids running around, their parents right behind them, warning them not to get too close to the river. A gang of teenagers occupied the bench in front of us, talking loudly and laughing. A young couple was in the one next to ours. They looked quite happy, cheerfully making conversation and holding hands the entire time. The girl was pretty – she had long brown hair and big eyes and smiled a lot – but for some reason, she made me uncomfortable.   
With a jolt, I realized why. She looked so much like Misaki, the girl in that picture with Kageyama. Oh goddammit, I didn’t want to be thinking about that now! Kageyama was sat right next to me, and I was going to spend the entire evening with him – I couldn’t afford to have those ridiculous emotions and start acting weird again. I tried desperately to push all those thoughts out of my mind, but it didn’t seem to be working. Who was that girl anyway? Why the hell did she make me so uncomfortable if I didn’t even know a thing about her? Maybe I should’ve checked her profile. Maybe I would discover that she bullied me in grade school or something. Maybe I could ask Takeru the next time I was at Kageyama’s place. Or maybe, I thought, glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I could ask Kageyama himself. It wouldn’t be weird, right? I mean, it was just a simple question. Nothing strange about that. Besides, knowing who she was might help me deal with these stupid feelings I was having.

“Hey, Kageyama,” I started

“Hmm?”

“I was going through Facebook today, and I saw this picture of you and this girl from your college. It was a selfie, I think, and she had your arm around your shoulder. Who was she?”

I waited for him to ask me why. I had the perfect response prepared – “Oh I was just asking because she’s pretty cute and I didn’t think you hung out with any cute girls, haha”. I was all set.   
To my surprise, however, he didn’t seem to be curious at all about why I was asking and just went to straight to answering my question.

“I think you’re talking about the picture with Misaki-san. She’s the volleyball team manager. She really likes taking pictures. I think she has a selfie with almost the entire college.”

“Oh. So she’s like that with everyone?”

“Yup. She must have a dozen pictures with everyone in the volleyball team. I usually refuse, but that time, everyone ganged up on me and forced me to do it. It turned out okay though.”

I snickered “You look like you’re trying not to punch a wall in that photo.”

He flicked the side of my head “Shut up.”

I stuck my tongue out at him then got back to looking at the crowd, suddenly feeling a lot better.

* * *

 

“It’s all Nishinoya and Tanaka’s fault.” said Sawamura-senpai, glaring at them.

“We said we’re sorry! Let it go!” pleaded Nishinoya

“Yeah man, we were hungry. We couldn’t help it!” added Tanaka

“Okay, okay, now that we’re here can we all go get our lanterns, please? People have already started gathering near the river.” said Sugawara senpai, ever the cool-headed, logical one.

It took them about fifteen minutes to get their lanterns and write their messages on them, by which time people had already started releasing theirs into the river.

We walked together to the river, waiting for the crowd to thin a bit before we into the river, wading into it till we were knee-deep in the water. It wasn’t as cold as I’d expected it to be, I think the lanterns made it warmer than it usually was.

Kageyama and I stood next to each other, and we both released our lanterns at the same time, giving them a gentle push so that they joined the others as they floated slowly on the river.  
We stood there looking at them for a while, watching them as they moved gently over the water, casting a warm, but bright glow over its surface.

All of the benches were already occupied, so it was hard for us to find a place where we could sit and watch the fireworks. After much searching around (and complaining and whining the entire time) we managed to find a couple of chairs that had been hidden behind a stall. We placed them in a small space that wasn’t filled with people, and waited for the show to begin.

We didn’t have to wait long, it began just a few minutes after we’d seated ourselves. It started slow, with just a few firecrackers shooting up at a time, but it built up, and soon the entire sky was filled colourful bursts of light that shimmered and sparkled and then dissolved into the night.   
“Oh here comes the big one!’ said Noya-san excitedly, as we neared the end of the display.   
“Rolling Thunder!” he announced

We all laughed at that, Daichi-senpai shaking his head fondly at Nishinoya-san’s silliness. Even Kageyama, seated next to me, was chuckling heartily. His head tilted back, and his shoulders shook slightly as his loud, harsh, ridiculous laugh filled the air next to me. The firecrackers continued to burst, but they seemed distant now, almost muted, like faint background noise. Their light illuminated Kageyama’s face, continuously changing colours, from red to blue to green to yellow, but constantly staying bright. It seemed like they acted as a spotlight, centered on Kageyama, because to me everything else seemed to have faded into the background.   
And at that moment, it hit me. It hit me hard, like a really fast ball from the other side of the court that you don’t see coming, and it hits you square in the face, making your eyes see stars and your head swim. It completely knocked the wind out of me. It engulfed my entire world. It was something I should have realized a long time ago.

I was in love with Kageyama Tobio.

                                                                                                                               * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, eh?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has finally realised what those weird feelings mean. But that doesn't exactly make things easier...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I AM SO SORRY I'M BEING REALLY SHITTY WITH UPDATES I PROMISE I'LL BE BETTER FROM NOW ON

Once I’d come to that realization, there was no going back.

It was real now. It was no longer doubt or confusion- I knew what it was. My weird, unfathomable feelings had now been fathomed. They had a name, a heavy, burdening title.

I’d actually preferred not knowing.   
Well there’s something I never thought I’d say. But it was true. Not knowing had been confusing, troublesome, and just plain annoying – it had been driving me crazy. But knowing was even worse. Knowing seemed to make it so much more permanent, like someone had gone and inked all my previously erasable pencil thoughts. These thoughts came under a label now, there was a word for them.

‘Love’

It was a really terrifying word.   
It felt like something so…grown up. I mean, not that I was a kid or anything- I was a fully grown nineteen year old man perfectly capable of understanding mature emotions, thank you very much. But it just felt so mystic, and strange. It was completely knew to me- the only thing I’d ever loved was volleyball, and for some reason, I didn’t think that counted.

Now that I knew what was going on with me, it was all I could think about. It had completely invaded my mind. I was back at university, and I had a million things to occupy-slash-distract myself, but I still couldn’t get it out of my head. It was always there, sitting at the back of my mind, and jumping to the front at random times. It was getting hard to function.

Despite all of that, however, I still wasn’t completely, 100% convinced. A teeny-tiny part of me still questioned whether these feelings I was having for Kageyama were actually romantic. That part of me believed (or wanted desperately to believe) that I might have been mistaken, and that I was just blowing things way out of proportion. What if the strange tingly sensations had been situational and temporary? What if the reason my face had felt so flushed and my body so warm was the heat, and nothing else? I needed to confirm things.

And so, I did. I met Kageyama the weekend after we came back from Miyagi, deciding to carry out a little experiment.

We met at his flat, without having made any sort of concrete plan. We were just going to hang out at his place, eating copious amounts of junk food and lazing around in front of the TV. It was supposed to be a very chilled out, relaxing day, but for me it was kind of stressful. My ‘experiment’ was making me very nervous. I knew it needed to be done, but that didn’t stop my heart from beating really fast.   
_Deep breaths, deep breaths_  I reminded myself, inhaling deeply when I decided it was time to just do it and get it out of my system.

“Hey Kageyama,” I began, putting down the video game console and sitting up straighter, mustering up the courage to say what I needed to next

“Hmm?” he responded, leaning back on his hands, lazily chewing gum

I gulped down my hesitation. I had questions that needed answers, and I was determined to get them.

“Can I hold your hand?”

He almost choked on his gum. He sat up suddenly, coughing and spluttering, and sounding like he was about to die, while I just sat there, frozen, unsure of what to do.

“What?” He gasped, breathing heavily, his hand clutching his chest. His eyes were fixed on me, wide and confused.

I cleared my throat before repeating “Can I hold your hand?”

“Why?” he asked incredulously, his voice hoarse, and his eyebrows knit.

“Because I need to check something. Don’t ask me what, it’s really embarrassing. It’ll just be for a second, I promise!”

Yeah, okay, I know. Great explanation, Shouyou, good job, very convincing. But I had tried, okay? I had wracked my brains for (what seemed like) hours and hours trying to think of a good excuse, but I couldn’t come up with any. I don’t think there are many non-platonic reason for wanting to randomly hold someone’s hand.   
So my plan was to just ask him and coerce him into doing it. I was simply going to plead and annoy him till he gave in. It was totally going to work.

“What the hell? What do you need to check?” His voice was going from hoarse to kind of squeaky now.

“I just said I can’t tell you! Just gimme your hand, please.”

Kageyama’s face was the physical embodiment of a question mark.

“Please, Kageyama? I know it sounds really stupid, but I just need to do it, okay? It’ll be over before you know it, I promise.”

His face was a now slightly red question mark, but it seemed less alarmed. Like, before it had been something like ????????!!!!!!!!!!!! whereas now it was more ??

I slowly held out my hand, doing the whole puppy-dog-eyes routine.

He looked at it like it was some sort of alien object that would electrocute him if he went anywhere near it.

I sighed “Just do it Kageyama! It’ll be like 5 seconds, you can count.”

He glared at me, but then, to my immense surprise, he gingerly lifted up his hand, slowly bringing it towards mine. He paused, then turned his face away, snapped his eyes shut and quickly grabbed my hand.

I think for 5 seconds, both of us stopped breathing. My heart raced even faster, which I hadn’t thought was possible, and those tingly feelings were back. His hand felt strange in mine, yet there was a sense of comfort and warmth, like it belonged there. I thought if I held it for longer, it would feel pretty….nice.  
But one look at Kageyama told me that I couldn’t continue this. His eyes were still clenched shut, and his face was really red, making him look like an angry tomato. For some reason, his reaction kind of put me off, which was strange since it wasn’t far from what I’d expected. I decided to put him out of his misery and let go of his hand.

‘Ummm thanks” I said, looking down at the floor.

“Yeah” he said, avoiding my gaze as much as I was avoiding his.

There was silence for a minute, where both of us said nothing, but my head was buzzing with thoughts. Then, he broke it, asking -   
“Whatever you were checking – did you get what you needed?” He still wasn’t looking at me but he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

“Yup.” I responded.

It was true. I had indeed gotten what I needed. The conclusion of my experiment was loud and clear.

Weird romantic feelings for best friend: CONFIRMED

* * *

 

 **Kageyama:** How much do I owe you for lunch at Pariya that day?

 **Hinata:** Umm well the total bill was 1500 nd my combo thing was 734

 **Kageyama:** You do the math and tell me how much I’m supposed to pay.

Look at this fool.

 **Hinata:** r u an idiot kageyama. like an actual GIANT idiot.

 **Kageyama:** I just don’t want to calculate.

I actually shook my head at the screen.

 **Hinata:** r u stupid u just hav to subtract U CAN JUST USE UR CALCULATOR

 **Kageyama:** Ugh okay. I’ll give you 766 next time we meet.

 **Hinata:** finally.

 

Oh my god he was such an idiot. He literally had the IQ of a rock. His level of idiocy was beyond anything I had ever imagined.

But I was in love with him.

Why? Why was I in love with an idiot? What was wrong with me? What was I thinking? What process had gone through my brain to arrive at this decision? Had my brain just gone “Oh look, that boy is the size of a tree and has a permanent scowl on his face. He also has the intelligence of a blade of grass. Yes, perfect!”

 _I_ was the stupid one, for having done this to myself.

_But he’s also really talented and loves volleyball just as much as you do and he’s so hardworking. Also, he’s the size of a tree but he has really nice abs._

Woah okay, no. No no no no a million times no. He was stupid. A stupid volley-ball loving nerd. Nothing more. And I was not going to think about his abs. Ever.

 

 **Kageyama:** Oh come one you’ve known for like more than 3 yrs you know I’m not good at math. I don’t even like math.

 

It was true. He was terrible, even worse at it than I was, and that was saying something.

I had known him for three years.

What the hell had I been doing for three years?

Why were these feelings suddenly coming up now? He hadn’t changed much in this time. Neither had I. So why had my feelings towards him? If I was going to fall in love with him, it could have happened before. But I hadn’t liked him in that way in school. Or had I? I didn’t know anything anymore.

 

 **Hinata:** yeah yeah I kno u. Ur terrible at everything,not jst math

It was kind of accurate, he had been terrible at most subjects in school. But then again, so had I.

 **Kageyama:** I’m good at volleyball.

Well he had me there.

 **Kageyama:** You’re the one who’s bad at everything

Had he forgotten three years of playing on the same team?

 **Hinata:** im good at vball too moron

 **Kageyama:** Okay, point. We’re both good at volleyball.

 **Hinata:** yup.we’re better as a team tho

 **Kageyama:** Yeah of course. I mean, alone, I’m a pretty good player, but with you I’m at a different level.

He said it so simply, like it was a fact, a plain truth of the universe that we just had to accept. It wasn’t a big deal at all, but I could feel my face flush.

 

* * *

_Idiot._

“Okay, and would you like some cream on that?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay!” the friendly barista smiled at me and then rummaged around for change as I paid him.  
It was lunch time and the café was really really busy, but he seemed unfazed by the rush, enthusiastically greeting and serving every person that came in front of him.   
He was tall, with warm brown eyes and dark messy hair. When he smiled, it seemed genuine, not a you’re-a-customer-so-I-have-to-be-nice-to-you smile.   
I thought he was kind of cute.

What on earth did that say about me?

Questions about my sexuality had been plaguing me for days, and they were back now that I was relatively unoccupied on this nice Sunday afternoon, peacefully walking back to my dorm with an iced mocha.

_Well, you’re in love with a dude._

That had been my original reasoning for thinking I was gay, and this cute barista was additional proof, but I wasn’t so sure. I mean, I’d thought the female barista with the short black hair and thick glasses from yesterday was cute too.

I didn’t really know much about these things, and I’d never really thought to question my sexuality before. Now that I was questioning it, I thought about all the times I’d stared at players during tournaments for, well, something _other_ than their volleyball skills. But then I also thought of the times I’d stared at their managers for the same reasons. Basically, I just confused the heck out of myself.

I opened the door, walking into the empty room and putting my coffee on the table.  
Maybe I should talk to somebody about this. Someone like Sugawara-senpai would be able to help, considering that he might have gone through something similar. Besides, he was someone I could fully trust. But did I really want to tell people about my stupid crush?

I plonked down on the bed with a sigh.  
I was so _done_ with these feelings. They’d pulling my brain apart for the last couple of days, I was going mad.

I buried my face in my hands.  
All I wanted to do was take a 100 year nap and wake up devoid of emotion.  
                                                                                                                * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my update schedule has p much gone down the drain now so I'll just upload sometime in the next couple of days okay?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has too many feelings for his own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just accept the fct that I am a shitty writer who is very slow and very lazy and just terrible in general. Just accept it and try and find it in your heart to forgive me.

Kageyama’s skin felt warm under my fingers as I trailed them over his face. His arm was wrapped around my waist while his other hand weaved through my hair, his fingers gently playing with my curls. His face was so close to mine, I could hear him breathe. His hand moved down slowly from my hair and cupped my jaw, tilting it slightly upwards. His face inched closer and closer to mine, till there were mere centimeters left between us. I could see the long eyelashes above his dark eyes and the little stray hairs that hung a little lower than the rest of his straight fringe.  
And then, he closed the gap.  
His lips were pressed against mine, and his grip around my waist had tightened. The kiss was short and chaste and soft, but then there was another. And another. And another, and then his mouth was moving from my lips to my jaw to my neck and –

My eyes snapped open.   
It was still dark, Nakashima was still snoring softly on the bed next to mine. The windows were open and the room was cool but I felt so warm. My face was flushed and my palms were clammy.

Oh good god.

At that moment, I wanted to sink into my bed and just cease to exist. I was embarrassed and ashamed and very _very_ grossed out by myself. I’d known about my feelings for Kageyama for a while and weird thoughts had been plaguing me for several days now, but this was an entirely new level of creepy. I knew there was no way Kageyama could ever know about this, but that didn’t stop me from feeling extremely guilty. It just felt so _wrong._ He was my friend! This wasn’t supposed to be happening! Curse my subconscious mind!

I took a deep breath.

Okay, I was just going to have to forget about it. I would just delete it from my brain. It never happened.

That’s easier said than done though. I pulled my covers up and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but vivid images of lips touching mine kept jumping into my head. I tossed and turned and tried to block them, but they wouldn’t stay away.

What had I done to myself?

* * *

 

“You look like shit.”

I finished stuffing my books in my bag and looked up at him

“Wow thanks Nakashima, you say the sweetest things.”

He shrugged.   
“I’m just telling it like I’m seeing it. What happened? You went to bed pretty early last night, you should be all refreshed and hyper and shit.”

I sighed

“I didn’t get much sleep.”

“How come?”

“Bad dream” I muttered, as I walked towards the door.

He didn’t question me any further.

Once outside, I stuffed my hands into the pocket of my hoodie and started trudging towards the classes building. I really didn’t want to go. Stupid goddamn thoughts had kept me all goddamn night and now I was _tired._ I’d woken up from the dream at around 3 am and hadn’t managed to go back sleep after that, no matter how much I’d tried. My body had very earnestly wanted me to sleep, and had tried to take over my thoughts with exhaustion, but the result was me falling into this sort of unpleasant and very confusing limbo between sleeping and being awake. It had been very frustrating.

I entered the class and found a seat right at the back. I dumped my bag on the floor and sat down, immediately resting my head over my arms on the desk and closing my eyes – I could take a two minute snooze before the professor arrived.   
But no, I couldn’t.   
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out, not even bothering to straighten up, and reading the text still slumped over the desk, my chin resting on my arms.

 **Kageyama:** Hey are you doing anything this weekend?

I slapped my phone screen-down on the table, making several students sitting around me jump and give me quizzical looks. But I ignored them, my face had gone back to being buried in my arms.   
Which was a good thing, because I’m pretty sure it was very red.   
Why did he have to text me? That was the last I thing I needed. I didn’t want to think about him. Not when all I could associate with him was that godawful dream.  
I could feel my cheeks burning as images from last night flooded my mind.

I was a terrible human being.

And an even worse friend.

Friends weren’t supposed to want to kiss friends. That was the exact opposite of ‘platonic’. And that’s what Kageyama and I were. Always had been, always would be.

But ‘platonic’ was leaving a sour taste in my mouth. Deep down, a part of me knew that platonic wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I could fight it, block it, tear it to shreds or run at it with a katana, but it wasn’t going anywhere. That part knew the truth.

I liked Kageyama.

Kageyama was my best friend and it was wrong and incredibly gross to dream about kissing him, but the reason I’d had the dream was because, well, I _wanted_ to.   
And I hated myself for it.   
I cursed myself repeatedly for having made this terrible decision. Not that it had been a decision or something I had a say in, but still. These feelings were terrible. They were making things very difficult. I never asked for them. I wanted nothing to do with them goddammit whose idea was this what’s the exchange policy on crushes I demand a refund.

I pushed my phone away. I didn’t want to reply. I definitely didn’t want to even think about seeing him any time soon. Kageyama’s level of perception was akin to that of a brick, but I was suddenly convinced that he would take one look at me and know everything. I felt like “I’m in love with you” was written across my face in big bold letters.

I was maybe slightly in trouble.

* * *

 

In our second year of high school , Yachi san had a crush on this guy from the football club. He was in my class, and I didn’t really know him that well, but he seemed pretty friendly. They lived in the same building apparently, which is how she knew him. They walked together to school sometimes, she tutored him on weekends, he helped out with the volleyball team when she asked for it- it was all lovely and happy and nice. I thought they made a really cute couple. But unfortunately, Mr. cute football dude, like most cute football dudes, had a girlfriend. She wasn’t in our school, but they’d been dating for like two years, so it was pretty serious. Yachi san was sad when she found out, of course, but she took it in her stride, talking about how she had more important things to worry about like studies and volleyball. She was very mature about it.   
However, she made the mistake of telling all this to me. And I am really not the right person to tell these sort of things to.   
She made me swear on volleyball never to tell anyone, and I tried not to, I really did. But it was eating away at me from the inside and I couldn’t hold it in and I might have accidentally blurted it out during practice one day. The team was cool about it, but I’d be lying if I said they didn’t treat her with an air of pity after that. Not to mention the random hostility poor confused Mr. cute football dude had to face from members of the volleyball team.   
Yachi-san is a beautiful human being who did forgive me later, but I don’t think I ever heard personal stuff like that from anyone after that.

Anyways, the point of this story is to demonstrate how absolutely terrible I was at keeping secrets. I couldn’t do it. Keeping a secret made me feel like I was doing something illegal, and I was going to get caught any time. I was just plain bad at it.

And apparently, I was even worse when it was my own secret.

I had decided not to tell anyone about my ridiculous crush on my former teammate, but that was proving to be extremely difficult. For one, just the fact that I was hiding something made my jumpy and kinda scared. Secondly, I had too many new emotions. There were too many feelings inside of me and I felt like I was going to burst if I didn’t let them out.

I kept looking at random people and having the urge to spill it all out to them.

_Sir, instead of the Japanese economic model during the 19 th century, let’s talk about how I have this crush. _

_Yamada senpai can I tell you about my friend Kageyama and my weird feelings for him while I serve?_

_Hey, random lady at the café, you wanna hear about how I’ve fallen for my best friend?_

Fortunately I didn’t say any of that. But it had been close, very close.

 

I was still buzzing with all these thoughts when I came back to my room at the end of the day. Nakashima was there, reading another volume of ‘Together, Always and Forever’. He would never admit it, but he was actually pretty into it now, cheesy and romantic though it may be. He may act all cool, but deep down, I knew he was a softie. He was a nice guy, Nakashima. The kind who’d help you out, who’d listen to you, whom you could trust with your secrets….

_Shouyou, no._

Right, of course, no telling anyone.

But he wouldn’t mind. I could confide in him.

_Don’t do it._

The words were coming up like vomit. They couldn’t be stopped at this point.

_You are weak._

“Hey, Nakashima?”

He looked up from the manga.

 “Umm”

As much as I’d thought about telling someone, I’d never really thought about what I was going to say.

“Umm, well, I kinda had something I wanted to tell you.

He raised one eyebrow.

“Well, uhhh, so, ummm, you know Kageyama right? Yeah, of course you do, you’ve met him,’  I laughed nervously then continued  
“So well umm, I kind of like him. Well, yes, obviously I like him, we’ve been friends for like 3 years, but like, I _like_ him. Okay I just said the same thing twice. Umm, what I meant was, I like him as more than a friend. I mean, I like him as a friend, duh, 3 years and stuff, but now I think it’s more than that. Like a teeny tiny bit more. So yeah.”

He just looked at me for a few seconds. Then:

“Hinata,” he began “Are you trying to tell me that you like Kageyama?”

I could feel my face go red.

“I uhhh yeah. Yes. I am.”

I gulped, waiting for him to respond.

He smirked.

“Finally.”

Wait, what?

He must’ve seen the confusion written across my face, for he went on to say   
“I’ve known for ages. I can’t believe it took you this long to realise it. You’re a bigger fool than I ever thought you’d be.”

“Wait, you knew? How did you know?!”

“Well it’s not like you were very discreet about it. You made it pretty obvious, to be honest.”

Well, that was a surprise. But when I thought about it, it did seem to explain some of his behaviour. Still, it bothered me that he knew about my feelings before I did. And what did he mean b ‘obvious’? How obvious? What did I do?

I asked him all this and more, and he replied, teasing me at every opportunity he got. I had no idea I was that much of an open book. Maybe I was as big a fool as he thought me to be.

After a while of talking, we came to the topic that had been bothering me the most.

“I’ve really confused about one thing though.”

“Hmm?”

“My sexuality. I mean, I like guys, obviously. But I think I like girls too. Boys are cute, but so are girls. So what does that make me?”   
“Hinata,” he began, the same way as before, “Have you heard of bisexuality?”

Oh. Of course.

Okay, it was confirmed, I was a fool.

As nervous as I had been, and regardless of how much fun Nakashima made of me, I was glad I’d decided to tell him. It felt like someone had taken a weight off my chest, I could breathe a little easier now. It was also really comforting to know what I was. With the question of my sexuality cleared up, I felt like there would be significantly less confusion in my life.

Of course, my troubles were far from over. My feelings for Kageyama still had to be figured out and dealt with somehow, and now, as the message on my phone screen was telling me, I had something even bigger to worry about.

 **Yamada senpai:** Exactly one month left till Summer championship. Extra practice from tomorrow.

                                                                                                                              * * * * * 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are happening nowwwwwwwww


End file.
